Friday, May 08, 2015

Review: Play It Cool

The Most Tedious Rom-Com About Rom-Coms

1/2 star

Mini Review:

I never thought I'd ever say that a Rom-Com was tiresome. But this one is. Drinking an entire bottle of Pepto Bismol or Maalox would be infinitely more pleasurable than watching this movie. Even Chris Evan's gorgeous eyelashes cannot save this movie.

Main Review:

Remember Saif Ali Khan's Happy Endings? Where he's the cool, hip, author (puke!) who gets entangled with another... Ugh! I'm sure you have shoved the memory of that film in the far recesses of your brain, or maybe you took pills to forget that you watched the film... But like bad pennies, the story is back, with Chris Evans as the lead that is well, out of steam... 

The whole movie is filled with stereotypical characters that spout stock lines in really boring scenes that make you too tired to even yawn. Even the heroine looks like she's being dragged unwilling into the romance track and that she looks like she'd enjoy jumping off a cliff more than romance the hero who is a... Well... A loser.

Now we've all dealt with lovable loser turns into hero plot, but here, you don't want to wait until that happens. Unwittingly you have fallen asleep even before the hero has asked for advice about love from his even more of a loser friend who lives in a van.

The one saving grace of the movie is the length of Chris Evan's eyelashes. We knew his eyes were bright blue, but dang! The length of those eyelashes is incredible. And they make him close his eyes an awful lot of times. Maybe he too was bored of the movie and could not express joy at being in every scene, and so he shut them...

The whole movie is like a narration, which induces sleep very easily. The theater people sent ushers with cattle prods to wake us all up when the movie was over.

P.S. You wish Captain America's shield would appear out of nowhere and decapitate all the characters.
(This review has taken three hours to write because I have fallen asleep several times when attempting to write it)   

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