Saturday, April 09, 2016

review: THE BLUEBERRY HUNT


Hammy Naseeruddin Shah Probably Did It For The Bacon

0 star

Mini Review:

Naseeruddin Shah showcases his stupidity (and perhaps avarice for money they may have paid him) when he dons dreadlocks and stars in the ridiculous thing called Blueberry Hunt. It's a one line idea: Pot growing recluse battles assassins who have come to steal his stash from his remote farm. The idea falls apart within ten minutes. And you come away respecting the star less.

Main Review:

I'm rather ticked off. What the devil prompts Naseeruddin Shah to act in such an idiotic film? WHAT WAS HE THINKING?

Was it the money? Must be. What else could prompt him to ham it up-till the gills, mumbling incoherently what seems to be more extempore shiite than dialog. Did they direct him to ham it? Even if they did, where was discretion? Brains?

Was it this obvious pride that the film would turn out to be a single man masterclass in acting? The only thing you will remember is his tying and untying of the silly dreadlocks he wears. The presser said proudly that the dreadlocks were Naseer-ji's idea! Why? Because he's a man who grows marijuana. Clearly his addled brain associates dreadlocks with marijuana. Ugh! The small film like Saving Grace dealt with the same topic with so much finesse and humor. No dreadlocks!

Then we are told, he does not want to have anything to do with the film. Such a shame to first 'do' the film, and then publicly refuse to endorse it, no? He was there, fully conscious that this film rode solely on his supposed talent as an actor. 

He must have been so chuffed! Someone wants to make a film with only him and a dog! And the filmmakers should know better. Dogs can sense intruders better than cameras. This dog was probably fed up listening to Naseeruddin Shah mumbling about retiring from his forest life to the city of Bombay where his lost love lives. Bleaaaargh!

He got away with it in Sona Spa and we laughed at his ridiculous antics in Himesh Reshamiyya's recent Teraa Surroor. But this film is unforgivable.

The story is some one line elevator pitch. A pot growing recluse who lives in a remote forest like area. His 'buyer' gives him some implausible story about some guy he has dushmani with wanting to kill him and recluse. So the daughter of the dushman is drugged and brought to the recluse's home. The dushman sends two assassins one after the other to kill recluse and steal his crop. Recluse kills them and gets killed. The girl screams initially but falls for some gobbledegook about 'this bracelet will send an alarm on my sat phone if you are further than 50 ft from me'. 

But there are so many holes in the story you just cannot believe they made this film without using a smidgen of common sense. The place is so remote, there is no cell phone coverage or electricity we are told. But the man and his dog watch Bugs Bunny cartoons on a TV, the cottage has electricity (and not a single bulb generated by a portable gen set) for a coffee grinder, and he has a gas connection. The census ladies show up at his home! 

The funniest scene in this drudge is the scene when the assassin shows up with a rifle to kill Naseeruddin Shah and comes face to face with the dreadlocked man himself, who has a rifle of his own. Now they cannot kill each other at such close distance with rifles, so they back up to aim.

Do I need to say both die, and then out of nowhere North-Eastern singers show up and take Naseer's soul into the light, singing something...

What happened to the girl? I'm sure she's in denial about this film as well. I was just glad Naseeruddin Shah's awful hamming was over.



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