Review: THE WATER DIVINER

Isme Action Hai, Emotion Hai, Romance Hai, Drama Hai! 
Basically, Russell Crowe Ne Banayi Huyi Hindi Film Hai!

2 stars

Mini Review:

Hollywood is watching so many Hindi films, they are now making masala movies. The only thing that possibly redeems this khichadi movie is that it's a delectable visual feast. 

Main Review:

If you expect Rakhi to show up saying, 'Russell! Mere Karan Arjun waapas lao, we would not be surprised. There'd be Dev Anand of Hum Dono doing his Major Verma thing (here the Turkish Major Hasan) with Russell Crowe singing Kabhi Khud Pe Kabhi Halaat Pe Rona Aaaya...

There would be 'Aaankhon hee aankhon mein' between the gorgoeus Bond girl Olga Kurylenko and Russell Crowe. And if Bollywood had had held stronger sway over the story, we would see Olga's son pray a la Kuch Kuch Hota Hai...

This World War 1 story takes Russell Crowe to beautiful Turkey, and yes, there's a delicious scene filmed at the Blue Mosque. This scene does more for tourism in Turkey than any movie shot there. Speaking of the visuals, the colors of this film are so seductively rich, you will forget this is a war movie. The reds of the fez caps and the jackets, the emerald greens of the clothes, and the delicious light in which the scenes have been shot make even the khaki that the soldiers are wearing wonderful...

The heroine of this film is so gorgeous, you forget this is a war movie. You want to hold your coffee cup and ask to be served a strong, sweet brew...

But as a movie, everything that happens is like a jigsaw puzzle, there are no surprises, no googly that hits you smack in the face... It's a movie you might watch on a romance channel on a lazy Sunday afternoon or if dubbed with Hindi dialog, then on a comedy channel...

In spite of the predictability, Russell Crowe in his first effort as director creates such compelling visuals that you wish to wipe the beads of sweat off his bare back or feel hatred for the Greek bandits, something that Vidhu Vinod Chopra's Broken Horses could not do, despite the movie being Chopra's 10 the directorial venture.

Watch the movie when it shows up on cable... And I'll go look up romantic tales of coffee and Turkish women...