Friday, April 10, 2015

Review: EK PAHELI - LEELA


Cover up. Seriously.

(you looking for a rating?)

Mini Review:

Breasts in feathers heaving, dialog dripping in double entendre, legs spread so far apart you wonder if she walks funny, and you'd laugh if you weren't puking into your popcorn upon hearing the faked orgasms...

Main Review:

There ought to be Rajasthani sand that should never really come out of their unmentionables is the thought as I grit my teeth (ha!) and watch as clothing begins to disappear from the leading lady (and the men on screen) before you can say, 'Sunscreen!'

It's a skin flick. Don't doubt that. 

She has breasts that are continental.
Insert orgasm sound here.
She has legs to rival Grace Jones in A View To A Kill
Insert orgasm sound here. And a grunt.
She has a body that contorts more than a yoga master.
Insert orgasm sound here. Call a chiropractor.
Her painted nails wander all over men's bodies.
Insert orgasm sound here. 
She's been reincarnated the story attempts to say.
Insert orgasm sound here.
Everybody is after her body, they say.
Insert frenetic orgasmic sounds here.
Between hearing orgasmic sounds attempt sarcasm: her acting is so bad, she needed to be born again and again until she can say a damned sentence right.

Sunny The Sleaze Leone might be a tad interesting had she covered up. Why would you pay 250 rupees to see body parts gyrating on screen AND compete with bodies like Rahul Dev who claim her body, her eyes, her color to be theirs when you can see it all and more on the net for free?

PS. Those orgasmic sounds are not made up. They are in the movie. Apologies for using the word 'Insert' so many times. As Sunny says in the movie, 'Agar asaan hota toh...' *puke*



2 comments:

Pushkaraj Apte said...

Thanks. I had no intention of watching it myself anyway, but will now also spread the word!

Pushkaraj Apte said...

Thanks. I was not planning to watch myself anyway, but now will also spread the word!