Friday, January 03, 2014


two stars

Scorsese Remakes Goodfellas

Mini Review:

If it were anyone else, the world would have been brutal with the rehashing. But it’s blue blooded Hollywood, so critics and fanbois will be down on their knees, gushing, and you too will swallow…

Main Review:

So Martin-ji and the blue-eyed boy-man Di Caprio bring you a smartly written, in your face sexual, macho movie that is about a young ambitious man who learns from a mentor and flouts every rule in the book to become successful and lives a debauched life until an FBI agent decides to…

Wait a minute. That’s from Goodfellas, no? Yes, yes. But Martinji is so cool naa? He made Goodfellas on Wall Street! It is smart and funny and he made Jonah Hill pee and masturbate and Di Caprio drool and do things with a candle… Wow!

So Leonardo like Henry says, ‘As far as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to be a gangster.’ (Substitute ‘rich’ for ‘gangster’ and you’ll find yourself watching Goodfellas all over again.).

The role of the ‘Mentor’ there: Paulie Cicero is better written than the beatboxing Matthew McConaughey here.

But the dad remains the same. Irish American. Here the dad lapses into a British accent on the phone.

In Goodfellas, it is: Never rat on your friends and keep your mouth shut. Ditto for Wolf.

In Goodfellas they have the Air France Robbery that comes back to haunt them. In Wolf, it is called Steve Madden IPO

In Goodfellas Billy gets beaten brutally and the coverup costs more than ever, and here we have Brad going to jail because Jonah Hill fucks up and then there’s a similar coverup. It’s called Lemon (rolls eyes) in Wolf.

Henry has a mistress called Janice, and the Wolf has one called Naomi (yes, yes, he marries her and all)...

There’s drugs there, there’s drugs here. And more sex and nudity shown because Martin-ji can. And it’s all so cleverly written! The set pieces on ‘drug’ fueled acts (the Ferrari, drool stage) by the principal characters are awesome. But everyone else in the movie are just men with telephones who raise their arms and cheer.

The decibel levels are enough to make you wince and you thank your stars that you have a computer program to help you buy and sell your stocks. Everyone is so charged (you must masturbate after lunch you are told. Someone tell this to athletes/sportsmen who refrain from any sexual activity before the big game, no?)! The movie is so sexual (everyone is saying ‘fucking this’ and ‘fucking that’ with so much pleasure you suspect they just discovered the word) that seeing Leonardo’s butt is nothing.

And just like Henry, Wolf admits that he is an addict. The downfall is similar (co-operate with the FBI, short sentence) and very boringly shown. You wish for The Untouchables like courtroom scenes...

Of course the end is almost similar to Goodfellas too. ‘I'm an average nobody. I get to live my life like a schnook.’ Wolf turns into a motivational speaker…

Hell, Manisha, you gave the plot away in the review. Bloody hell, I say, no matter how smartly written Wolf is, Martin-ji should have made a new movie naa?

See the movie for yourself and you will realise why I prefer Brooklyn to Wall Street.

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