Friday, March 04, 2016

Review: JAI GANGAAJAL


2 and half hour selfie from a wannabe Kamal Haasan 

1/2 star

Mini Review:

Prakash Jha has done a Dashavataram to us. Not only has he rehashed the original Ganga Jal, but diluted it by appearing in every frame, every scene, all through the movie, and ruining it by pretending to know this thing called acting.

Main Review:

He is so bad, he's the villain (Oh, wow!)

He's so sneaky, he can appear in every scene (whoah!). 

He's a crack shot, and can shoot a baddie from a hundred paces (wow!).

He's contrite, he's the good uncle, he makes deals with bad guys, he can make things 'all right', he knows how to persuade villagers to sell their land, he also has a big heart beating inside of him which turns him into a good cop (super wow!)

He has integrity and has principles (wow!) which put him the center of the scene where he's surrounded by baddies and he gets to spout out blood like Amitabh Bachchan when he's punched by the bad Vidhayak (Manav Kaul) which lands him in the hospital. But wait for the 'wow!' reaction.

He steals the thunder from under Priyanks Chopra's pretty nose by speaking the best dialog: 'Vardi ko haath nahi lagana' (wow!) 

(Damn! he heard that 'wow' from the audience, and says it not just once but three times!)

He's so good, Priyanka Chopra visits his bedside, wide-eyed and grateful and she says,'You are so good! You have hid the files and the kid so well, nobody in the police force has been able to find them,' and he smiles a wan smile, 'Yeh to mera farz tha!'

Now you can say, 'Wow!' until you choke because all this talk about 'Farz' is so 'Farzi' and 'acting' as if he's terribly injured, but you see him ready to fight in the next scene. 

Priyanka Chopra is showcased with makeup in every frame. She looks like pretty accessory. And that's what she ends up being. What's more, when she's having a conversation with another officer, beating up baddies or reading files, the super cop-director steps in, even though he doesn't have to say anything. He gobbles up practically every frame of every scene by being there. 

Ajay Devgn was awesome as the upright police officer and even the bad cops Yashpal Sharma, Mukesh Tiwari, the other helpless cops and the big bad guy Mohan Joshi were great in their own way. Even the story, where locals take law into their own hands and pour acid into the eyes of who the public deems guilty, is a better story than people lynching baddies in public. Here Prakash Jha wants to be every cop. This Dashavataaram fails.

Never before has one wanted the bad guy to beat the hero to death. This time you will find yourself cheering for the baddie, and swing an imaginary hockey stick at the super cop-director yourself. 

This is such a colossal waste of money and talent like Manav Kaul, Murli Sharma (why did the pressers say he was 'effiminate'? Because he wore nail polish in one scene?) and most of all, Priyanka Chopra. Most people wanted to see Priyanka Chopra in action. Not this self-indulgent, needless self-promotion. 


p.s. We should not say 'wow' and more but vow to watch Quantico because poor Priyanka Chopra...







1 comment:

batulm said...

And he appears in the national anthem too, pinning you with his evil stare, in case you wanted to escape.