Ho-oi Kyon Banayi Yeh Picture?
After 8 years the story of a broken band 'Magik' comes alive again. Barely. It is so slow you can see where the story if going a mile ahead. Each band member though busy with different things, deal with the death of young lad - who wanted to make music and whom they ignored - differently. This includes the sister of that boy who also makes music. The faraway village where one band member lives is burnt and the band comes together to save the village, and save themselves.
The one saving grace to this movie is a khasi song ‘Hoi Kiw’ sung by the Meghalaya band Summersalt featuring Usha Uthup (she sings the Hindi lyrics). The sound is so new, you know you have to go seek more of their music. There’s enough time to do that in the movie because the rest of the movie has been such a drag you had sunk to the bottom of your multiplex seat and were almost asleep.
The band you saw eight years ago in shambles again. This time Aadi (Farhan Akhtar of the awful sand on broken glass voice) is hiding away in a Meghalaya village and is busy ‘saving’ the villagers by starting a school and a farming co-operative. Joe Mascerhenas (the ever so handsome Arjun Rampal) is not playing guitar any more. He’s drowning himself in judging music reality shows and running a club. Purab Kohli is the narrator in the film and does not seem to be doing much except offering comic relief that might not work for a ten year old, let alone grown ups.
They’re all suffering from guilt over the death of a young man who hounds them with his music. He kills himself after a nasty encounter with the band. By the time they show this encounter, you feel for the boy who says sarcastically, ‘All you can sing is ‘jaago, jaago!’. You call this music?’ You want to clap hard because every song they sing is dullsville.
The village Aadi has adopted burns down and he’s devastated (thankfully Farhan Akhtar’s beard hides his really bad acting). He is saved by a young girl (Shraddha Kapoor. Poor girl! She didn’t know she was getting into am sure!) who records music of the local singers. Aadi returns home (that’s what he’s best at, this running away!). Meanwhile we learn Shraddha Kapoor is the sister of the lad who committed suicide because the Magik guys would not listen to his music cd. Her dad is the profoundly talented Kumud Mishra who is misused here as a poor man’s Vikram Gokhle from Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam. She also writes and creates half baked songs - which no matter how good you are with lyrics and tunes - you will not remember.
Coffee saves you from more trite songs and forgettable music (one song actually reminds you of Aerosmith’s ‘Sweet Emotion’ but you put that thought out of your head). Then the whole band goes back to the village to save the children by singing in a rock concert. You have to see the scene where Farhan and Shraddha distribute meal packets. It’s the worst orchestrated scene in movies this year. The village people have been made to look so suitably dirty, you have to stuff your empty popcorn packet in your mouth lest you get slapped for giggling uncharitably at the people in relief camps.
Thankfully the Meghalaya band sings ‘Hoi Kiw’, which is peppy and catchy. The refrain begins to sounds like ‘Hoi Kyon’ (Hoi why!) and you add ‘Hoi kyon banayi yeh picture!’ (Hoi! Why did you make this movie!)’
And puhlees! No one bought the movie post-script that Shraddha Kapoor became an International singing sensation singing to a packed audience in New York.
(this review appears on nowrunning dot com)