Review: DAAS DEV

PAIN IN D' ASS WATCH

2 stars

Mini Review:

Sarat Chandra Chatterjee’s classic but simple love triangle

of Paro, Devdas and Chandramukhi is turned on its head

and complicated needlessly by setting the story in a lawless,

political background in Uttar Pradesh. There are stories and

backstories heaped one on top of another and finished off in

a Tarantino-esque hail of bullets. When a dying character

asks,’Why? Why did all this happen?’ in despair, the

audience shaking their heads in a similar fashion asks the

same thing.

Main Review:

Devdas and Paro dancing, being touchy feely in a Delhi disco

is a great idea, but then he’s drunk and he hits some guy talking

to Paro. Didn’t the original Devdas take to drink because he was

separated from Paro? You sigh into your popcorn and watch the

film derail into predictable patriarchy.

Fawad Khan's Poor Cousin. Still Entitled.

Devdas is kidnapped and we suddenly want to hit him hard. He’s

not only a lush but a lush with an attitude and has lost ‘crores’ in

some business. It is 2018, and we’re still making movies when

families are doing ‘business’ but no one knows what business,

they have large offices and are called ‘business tycoons’ but

there is not a shred of evidence what business the hero is

really ‘in’.

Paro who was in the car with him is conveniently left behind to

call someone and have Devdas rescued. Like I said, the film

simply derails.

Devdas with daddy issues, mommy issues, need to hold a

girl in bed and fall asleep issues, and unfortunately, acting

issues too. Rahul Bhat who plays Devdas plainly looks sleazy

like he never left his earlier film Nayee Padosan.

Pissed Off Pathetic Paro, Churlish Chandramukhi

Richa Chaddha plays Paro and wanders through her role like

a zombie. Mostly expressionless. But then the events in the

movie are so predictable that you cannot blame her. She’s a

disco chick one minute and suddenly a salwaar kameez clad

saviour of poor farmers the next. Wait, what?

Cheerless Chandni or Chandramukhi shows up, narrating the

story and then suddenly realises she is supposed to be a

prostitute according to the classic, and is then shown walk

away with old politicians, emerge from rooms with old politicians.

And you try to understand why Aditi Rao Hydari took this role.

Gigantic Earrings! She wears them in every movie she appears.

Doesn’t help with the image of the pretty pouty girl at all. In fact,

you think she’s churlish because the earrings weigh so much.

'Har Haadse Ke Peeche Ya Toh Dar Hota Hai Ya Politics'

There are gunmen, politicians, their chamchas, their goons,

their jeeps and SUVs, poor villagers, people being killed in

green fields, more politicians, informants on their cell phones,

rifles and alcohol, parties, ministers who appear in ‘lal batti’ cars

with a retinue of policemen. Complimenting these predictable

things are even more predictable emotions of betrayal, plotting

and planning to retain political power, more betrayal, emotionless

killing, manipulating sons to do as told by pretending to suffer a

heart attack and yes, even ‘coma’, then betrayal again, more

killing as if Sushir Mishra was channelising his inner Tarantino.

The only saving grace of this predictable political ‘game’ are

Vipin Sharma (who plays Paro’s elderly husband, the chief of the

opposition party) and Saurabh Shukla (who plays Dev’s uncle and

politician who falls in coma and feints heart attacks, says, ‘Satta

hamari virasat hai’ - power is our inheritance, with so much

conviction that you forget to laugh at its ridiculousness).

The film is shot rather interestingly, and the content could have

been a political souffle but it takes itself so seriously, you just

watch the souffle sink into an unpalatable glutinous mess.

Imagine missing Madhuri Dixit singing 'Maar daala! Allah

Maar Daala' and not in a complimentary way when you

come out of the theater.

(this review sans subheads appears on www.nowrunning.com)    

Review: AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR

Big Bang In The Avengers Universe


4 stars


Mini Review: 

Five Stones that make Thanos - the villain you have heard about and seen in the shadows in other Avengers movies - so powerful he can and does destroy anything and everything he touches. The danger to the universe is so great, the film brings all the heroes together in one big film. The one liners are super funny, the action is super amazing, the situations are super jaw-dropping and you end up being super emotional at galactic speeds. You emerge wobbly from the experience.

Main Review:

Thanos is big, evil, and way too powerful for a couple of Avengers. And you've seen in the posters, the assembly is just mind-blowing. His evil minions are creepily scary and even then the funny one liners stop you from shivering from the inside.

The entry of each of these heroes is so well written, you cannot but whoop and cheer. You leave behind any dignity you claim to possess and do the Saurav Ganguly shirt waving at the screen so many times, you are grateful that it was a mental thing only. 

Please understand also that bottling your emotions doesn't work either. You have had years of investing in your favorite Avenger. You know their power stance, you know how they fight (Hulk Smash! Thor's Hammer! Wakanda Forever! Dr.Strange's space holes to disappear into) and all of a sudden you are crying because of the awful things unfolding on the screen. It's like Thanos just strangled you. 

Also the story about Infinity Stones is nothing new really. You have seen similar things before, so that sort of tarnishes the stars a bit. Also, Thanos has this really weird chin which is a great distraction. And because there's such a smorgasbord of Avengers in front of you, there is not enough time to focus on your favorites. But the worst offenders are the CGI monsters in the Wakanda fight. They're like adding numbers to fight the Wakandan army. And they really don't matter.  

The action on the film is divided into two worlds and so is your attention. And you think you are watching two different films. So don't blink, or you will miss out on the relentless action. If there had been no music with the action, it would have been a crazy football like commentary in Arabic you heard when Salah was making those amazing goals: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofHlzq9gH98

As you can see, I am trying my hardest to not tell you what happens. And I know the first weekend is booked out completely at your nearest IMAX theater for a 3D. Just have patience and you will be rewarded. 








  

Review: BEYOND THE CLOUDS

CLICHES KI BAARISH

2 stars

Mini Review:

Majid Majidi comes to India and falls for the 'poverty is

beautiful' trap. After that, he simply rolls from one cliche

to another and another until you just shake your head in

despair. Ishan Khattar who makes his debut shows flashes

of talent and is let down by a 70s style poverty porn. And the

other star of the film is the city itself. But that just isn’t

enough to make you want to spend multiplex money.

Main Review:

Majidi just doesn’t seem to get over his 1997 brother and sister

against the world drama called Children Of Heaven. So you have

a brother and sister in Bombay in Beyond The Clouds. And yes,

they’re poor too. That’s cliche number one: if it is India story

dreamt up by a ‘foreign’ director, then poverty needs to be the

hero.

The brother and sister are estranged, because she was married

to a drunk and he would beat the brother regularly. The brother

is forced to run away because the sister would not take his side

ever against the husband. Don’t groan yet. This is just the

beginning. The brother is a drug delivery chap, delivering drugs

in a box of mithai, winking at the customers. The drug lord doesn’t

pay him. Of course there’s a police chase through the most

picturesque poverty tourism sites: the dhobi ghat, the fishing

village, and running through pigeons at kabootarkhana so they

fly. If you live in Bombay you laugh at the geographical

impossibility (it’s as implausible like showing the chase beginning

in Trafalgar Square in London, through Central Court in

Wimbledon, on to the C train in New York and ending up on a

camel in the middle of the Sahara desert).

The brother meets sister, and immediately we realise that the

sister is overdoing ‘Where have you been?’ Oh goddess of logic,

tell me, if they were estranged for years how do they recognise

each other? But brother dumps drugs on sister and a creepy

man hides him under a pile of clothes. Sister then takes him

home.

That home is like Urban Outfitters version of poor person’s home.

There’s a kitchen, a sitting area and a bedroom and even a

balcony so the brother can look at the moon and say, ‘I miss

mom’. The sister and the brother then look at the moon sharing

a blanket. And the audience goes, ‘Why in the world would you

share a blanket in Bombay? The lowest temperatures that

Bombay experiences is 12 degrees centigrade (with relative

humidity levels that rarely go down under 60%!)! Ugh!

The creepy guy who helps brother hide under the pile of clothes

attempts to rape the sister, the sister hits the man and gets

arrested for attempted murder. Brother takes care of man

(injured but cannot speak) hoping he’ll come to and tell the truth.

Meanwhile sister goes to women’s jail where the mascot of

poverty, Tannishtha Chatterjee, coughs and dies. It’s a prolonged

death and gives the sister a chance to do the melodramatic,

screechy, ‘I don’t want to die here!’, ‘Get me out of here!’ and

‘Help me, my brother! This is hell!’

The jail inmates as well as the police-women are cliched

characters. But it is made worse because the super talented

Vishal Bhardwaj writes the trite dialog everyone speaks.

‘Mother has gone to heaven and is watching you from there’,

‘Mother is living on the moon in a big house’, and so on, until you

want to throw your shoes at these children of heaven.

The brother is dealing with the injured man’s relatives and weather

that is so manipulative (when the lad is eating at his sisters home,

he realises the family is outside hungry. When he ignores them,

of course it begins to rain and his conscience pushes him to bring

them in and offer them shelter. You facepalm and you facepalm at

the cute things the lad does to win the hearts of the little kids while

hating the father. You want to kill yourself when you see the

neighborhood play Holi (usually in March, and not during the rainy

season) as the lad makes peace with that family, and don’t care

if you don’t understand the old granny who speaks so much Tamil

there should have been subtitles. But Majid Majidi is making a

film in a language he doesn’t understand, so what does he care

if the granny speaks Tamil?

Looks like nobody cared when they made this movie. Except the

talented cinematographer who makes Bombay look beautiful.

And the young lad Ishaan Khattar who makes his debut tries

super hard to look poor, and has flashes of talent in scenes.

Especially his surprise when he discovers a yellow hand print

from the little girl who spills a red colored drink.

(this review appears on nowrunning dot com)

Review: NANU KI JAANU

Naansense Hi Naansense

0.5 stars

Mini Review:

Is it a comedy? Is it horror? Is it social drama? Is it funny?

Is it a weird love story? No one quite knows and when

everything is piled on so thick, you begin to wonder as

audience if you have lost your capacity to care. The

background music is ideal for saturday morning cartoons

and is so loud you want to order ear plugs.

At 132.47 minutes, you idly wonder if they would be easily

delivered before you would turn permanently deaf.

Main Review:

When Nanu and his gang (Manu Rishi and two others) kick open

doors and make people sign away their apartments or else. The

‘Or else’ is a girl who looks supremely disinterested, who tears

her sleeve and threatens to complain of assault. The old man

signs the papers. This is meant to be dark comedy. You’re like,

how is this comedic? Khosla Ka Ghosla was dark. This had

better go somewhere. It just goes to an item song happening

at a wedding. Do they get the wedding party to sign papers also?

No. Just an item song.

Suddenly it is dark and they get into a disco, where Nanu (Abhay

Deol) picks up a girl and makes out with her in the car (they

couldn’t go back to that apartment they appropriated?). And when

morning comes, he drives and witnesses and accident. He picks

up the girl (totally out of character for a thug, but he has a golden

heart I suppose) who smiles so much, you feel a horror film

come on.

The girl becomes a bhootni (blue paint on her body, tattered

dress, and an ability to live in the chimney) and haunts Nanu,

preventing him from drinking beer and even cleaning up his messy

house. Before you can say, ‘Why is she moralistic and

judgemental?’ or ‘She cleans home? Then let her haunt mine!’

Nanu lives in a building where there’s a lad who extorts money,

has a security guard who drinks and sleeps on the job, neighbor

who beats his wife, weird neighbors (Brijendra Kala and his wife)

who have a mentally disabled daughter called Phantom who plays

with a red ball in the open landing space on the 5th floor. Why is

she called Phantom? Does she not exist? But the story gets into

the funny haunting which involves Manu Rishi stripping to his

boxers and then being hung upside down mid air. The comic

background score tells us that we are supposed to laugh. But

we’re wondering why daddy of bhootni (Rajesh Sharma) is

simultaneously being haunted whenever he tries to smoke.

It’s hilarious to see the Censor Board warning ‘Smoking Kills’

appear on screen when the man is being haunted by his dead

daughter who did not smoke.

Moral science lessons don’t stop: Wear helmets, Don’t answer

phones when you’re driving, Muslim people are living in terror

in India because they may buy goat meat and the mob might

lynch him, you should not steal , do not give in to fake people

who pretend they can become ghostbusters, men who give

moral science lessons are having affairs with young nubile women,

wife beating is bad, especially with a moralistic ghost haunting

the apartment building.

The film has been made shoddily and no one cares if the dead

girl (Patralekha) turns Nanu into a dithering, emotional mess, or

turns his goon into a crazy person. How? Why? You don’t ask

because daddy says the dead girl is in love with Nanu. You shake

your head and watch the love song (obviously no one else can

see her) and see him wooing a ghost with a cappuccino. When

you’ve facepalmed enough you think, the dead girl comes alive

and tells daddy and now boyfriend how there is god, and

‘yam-doots’ who kill her instead of another chap because his wife

was praying really hard at a temple. If you thought the movie is

over, Nanu now turns into a professional ghostbuster or maybe

not… Let’s just dump this film into the vault of ignominy where it

belongs after asking this question, ‘Why Abhay Deol, why?’

(this review appears on nowrunning.com)

Review: OCTOBER

Varun Dhawan Shines This Month

3 Stars

Mini Review:

Shoojit Sircar has managed to turn a singing, dancing,

goofball called Varun Dhawan and shown us that the lad

can get the audience to cry and laugh and be on his side.

October is an unlikely film for Bollywood so used to boy

meets girl and falls in love narrative, that a story about

human empathy is rare. The film falters because it takes it

own time and feels like it is stuck in a loop, but if you are

patient, the reward is wonderful.

Main Review:

This film is all about Varun Dhawan. Yes, the same lad who

danced his way in Judwa 2, Student Of The Year and Badrinath

Ki Dulhania. Not to forget he showed us that he could play grown

up in Badlapur (though most people were not convinced of his

long planned revenge story and appreciated the bad guy

Nawazuddin Siddiqui instead).

So Varun Dhawan plays Dan, a socially awkward lad who is a

hotel management student interning at a five star hotel, hating the

menial tasks assigned to him when all he wants to do is be

learning in the kitchen. He’s shown constantly challenging

authority by breaking rules and ‘talking back’. The other interns

are also harassed, but remind him that he will be out of the

program and his parents will have to pay three lakhs if he

continues to show his bad attitude. He needs to put his nose to

the grindstone and put up with the tasks assigned them. The

girls and the boys have been studying together and are a close

knit group, not snitching on this socially awkward lad.

At the new year party when the interns have sneaked out on to

the terrace and are partying without the knowledge of the horrible

boss (wonderfully played!) there is a tragedy. Banita Sandhu

who plays an intern (named ‘Shiuli’ after the night flowering

jasmine) is injured. Everyone is caught out but the boss and the

interns all get to the hospital to visit the girl. Dan has of course,

escaped duties. When he comes to the little tea shop near the

hospital, he is almost reluctant to go see Shiuli in Intensive care.

But his empathetic, curious mind is stuck on ‘why did she ask for

me before she fell?’

He begins to visit her at the hospital and becomes a part of her

recovery process. He may be led by that question but we see

that he is not just a disruptive 21 year old. There is more to him

than just his wildness. You fall in love with this lad who cares

for a girl who is just someone he was studying with, and not even

good friends. As the nurse and all his intern mates ask him, ‘If

she’s not your girlfriend, why do you care?’

But he does. And we begin to care for him and smile at all his

odd, rough ways of being in the hospital. The girl’s mother

Geetanjali Rao is a marvelous foil to Dan, never asking him why

he shows up night and day at the hospital, at the cost of his

internship and career.

And dammit! Shoojit Sircar needs to know better than to allow

a big hole in the screenplay with a lame explanation of why

the heroine’s name is Shiuli - a Bengali name for a South Indian

girl. The gorgeous mother explains that little Shiuli would collect

the night jasmine flowers with her grandfather (the fragrant

flowers fall off the tree in the morning) and that’s why she was

named after that flower. Erm...Don’t you name babies even before

they are old enough to pick flowers from the garden?

The screenplay takes its own sweet time to establish Dan’s

dogged determination and yet keep him sympathetic. But it’s a

risk the director takes and will lose a whole bunch of people who

want ‘something to happen’ in the movie. The film simply crawls at

some points. But if you fall in love with the good, bad boy then you

will be willing to watch. It is not a boy falls in love with a girl story.

It could be, but it’s more about empathy and how the rough lad

becomes awesome because of his capacity to empathy.

The lump in your throat will not let you eat popcorn in the film,

and many scenes will dilute your coffee with tears.

     

(this review appears on nowrunning dot com)