tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-101890052024-03-13T18:44:07.592+05:30manishalakhemanisha lakhehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01788008662800072316noreply@blogger.comBlogger761125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10189005.post-24101311873407279002021-10-14T20:55:00.002+05:302021-10-14T22:41:32.290+05:30Review: Rashmi Rocket. Yeh toh phuski nikla re!<p><i style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></i></p><p><i style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;"><b>Rashmi Rocket on Zee5</b></i></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><i>The film stars:</i> Tapsee Pannu as Rashmi Rocket and Priyanshu Painyuli as her husband Captain Gagan Thakur, Abhishek Banerjee as lawyer Eeshit Mehta, Manoj Joshi and Supriya Pathak as Rashmi's parents, and Varun Badola as Dilip Chopra the baddie Selector of the Indian Athletics League (or some such gormint sports association).</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><i><b>Watch it or skip it? </b></i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">It's a paint-by-numbers sports film with an athlete suing the sports body. Use the remote I say, fast forward to the court case because you like Supriya Pilgaonkar as 'Milady' erm... 'Your Honour!'</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><b><i>Ab Review karte hain, seriously:</i> </b></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">So little Rashmi beats all the boys in the village to capture a kite, People flying kites on the terrace are yelling 'Kai po che!'. People are wearing tie-die bandhani sarees and brightly coloured pugdis. Daddy Manoj Joshi encourages her to run like a rocket and never says no to her for anything. Mum Supriya Pathak runs a handicraft enterprise which looks like a lovely ad for an ideal village. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Suddenly she has to defend a woman at the Panchayat whose husband beats her and won't apologise. Grown up Rashmi who now rides a motrobike is there beside her mum and as soon as the husband tries to drag the woman a minute after apologising, Rashmi hits him. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">But her job is to take tourists around the Rann. It's gorgeous to see miles of salty marshes, and I wish the story had taken advantage of Rashmi racing in our country's unique geographical feature. Remember the movie, The World's Fastest Indian' where Anthony Hopkins races the Indian bike in the Bonneville salt flats in Utah? The cinematography makes you go weak in the knees and dizzy in the head because you experience a kind of white out. What could have been her training ground, Rashmi Rocket just saves a chap from blowing up on a land mine. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">I'm like, they were just talking about snakes, yeh land mine kidhar se aaya?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Anyway, Rashmi runs faster than the nice looking hero who's brought two marathoners from the army to train in the salt flats. I guess they forgot about the training because she ran faster than them. But the hero is nice looking. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">The army camp (why is there a camp and not a proper cantonment? Have they been there ever since the earthquake and when Rashmi was a little girl? Who are they treating? But you like how Rashmi Rocket gets dressed and joins the celebrations where everyone is blindingly colourful. She flirts with the Captain and the nice guy dances the Dholi taaro dhol baaje type dance. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">I am super impressed already with Tapsee Pannu's super athletic body, so the dance number seems as out of place. But get on with the story! They didn't make Shah Rukh suddeny dance with the team in Chak De! Bring on the fast forward button, yo!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">So then predictable stuff happens: Rashmi gets selected, runs so fast two of the girls are don't like her. Of course the one who hates her is the super urban, super jealous daughter of the main selector Dilip Chopra (bad dude Varun Badola, who looks like he hasn't slept for days). The jealous gal wonders if Rashmi takes performance enhancing drugs or if she's really a woman.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">I'm like, 'Duuuuuude! You gave the plot away!'</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">After Rashmi wins lots of medals for India, the league whisks her away (knowing she's tired and exhausted) and makes her go through what is an alarming fifteen-twenty minutes of cinema. She's treated so horribly in the name of random testing that you realise that the film actually starts here. How many people are complicit in the testing and shaming conspiracy? Unbelievable!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">The aftermath is predictable. News cameras and cops treating Rashmi horribly, villagers calling her 'Mardana', her mother and brothers protecting her...</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Along comes lawyer Eeshit Mehta (it's Abhishek Banerjee in glasses, speaking Bangla even though he's Mehta) who tries to tell Rashmi that she should fight the ban. And why the ban is unfair to women athletes.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">The court case when Rashmi decides to fight it is a great idea, but the execution seems too weak. Hearing the lawyer compare Rashmi's unfair advantage with naturally high testosterone with Michael Phelps who has an unfair advantage because of longer arms and legs or Usain Bolt's super muscle, is just so blah. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">It's weird to see a lawyer using a white marker (so convenient!) on the glass walls in the library and make notations in his diary and believe that he's doing research for Rashmi's case? Does he not own a laptop? Whatevs! He questions Dilip Chopra's daughter who was the champ before Rashmi showed up but he doesn't ask the most logical question: was she ever tested because of her great performance? </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">And the fact that they use a predictable way to prove Rashmi is indeed a woman made me groan. Estrogen and testosterone high at the same time in the body? Whaaaaat kind of science is that? They drew so much blood from her during the tests, nothing showed up? I didn't just groan, I wondered if Bill Nye the science guy would upchuck his morning chai latte watching that! </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Suddenly I find myself looking at how honest the story in Mary Kom was (despite all the other problems). They did not hesitate in calling out the Boxing Federation. This film on the other hand is too chicken to even mention that the story is inspired by Dutee Chand who was banned because of her high testosterone levels. Why make a movie if you think the audience is stupid?</span></p><div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div>manisha lakhehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01788008662800072316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10189005.post-79702773175967428572021-10-14T20:53:00.000+05:302021-10-14T20:53:13.309+05:30Is Ted Lasso really a hero? Or just comic relief? <p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The name of the show is Ted Lasso, but</span><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span><i style="font-family: arial;">yaaron,</i><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span><span style="font-family: arial;">for me, the heroes of the show turned out to be Rebecca and Keeley. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Think about it. If you've read pundits that teach screenwriting, you know all about 'a hero's journey'. Critics too will expound on the importance of a valid 'character arc'. After I finished bingewatching both seasons of Ted Lasso, I sat down to write how much of a fun watch it was. But...</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Even though Ted Lasso throws zingers a mile a minute, but the best lines came from Keeley. 'Fuck me, you're wonderful. Let's invade France.' Keeley says this when Rebecca shares her secret of how to create self confidence before facing people for Nate. Keeley starts out as a 'social media influencer' famous for doing nothing at all. You want to shake her for the bizarre fuckboi relationship she has with a narcissistic personality like Jamie, and then love her more when she takes on the grim, grunting Roy Kent. Keeley loves the little girl (Roy's niece) enough to get dressed and knock doors to find a dentist on Christmas eve. How many gorgeous women (who can carry that sexy santa outfit!) will do that? </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Her ability to laugh at herself and her many gigs (the hotel video!) is brilliant. Plus, like a true hero, she is happy to put Rebecca in front and even loves Rebecca's best friend who calls her Stinky. No green monster at all! When she cannot take Roy's constant looming presence, she tries all kinds of things to let him know gently because she could break his heart. She's so nice even Nate wants to kiss her! And Jamie wants her back. How many women do we know who boast of their many conquests at the drop of a hat. But not Keeley. She's just perfect. Her character grows from a groupie to the owner of a PR firm. If that's not a hero's journey, what else is? </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Rebecca, starts out as a villain who wants to ruin her ex-husband's happiness by grinding his footie team into the ground, turns your heart into a mush puddle when you realise that she has immense inner strength. The ex is shitty, the people who enabled her ex are still working for her (Higgins), the male dominated owners groups treat her shabbily, and she has to find joy in the unexpected success of her team. She doesn't give up and includes Ted Lasso in her Christmas giveaway. When she eats those cookie fingers, she makes you hungry (more than Nigella does when she puts food in her mouth). Plus she looks gorgeous. Imagine walking in her shoes. That's a heroic figure in more ways than one. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Many bows to Hannah Waddingham who plays Rebecca and Juno Temple who is Keeley. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Everyone is amazed how Jason Sudekis manages to be so positive and despite having a shitty personal life, learns to manage a team (sort of) by pop psyching everyone and everything.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">That should have been a hero's arc, but despite being such a positive person, he reminds me of the Sun that comes out at the beginning of Teletubbies. He just shines and the Teletubbies do the rest.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">He doesn't know anything about futbol, and by the end of the second season he hasn't learnt anything either. Coach Beard learns about the game more. The only thing positive Ted Lasso does is give them homilies: Believe. And that sort of wears off after a while. The lads know how to play, Ted takes Nate's play strategies and uses them, trusting the passion Nate has for the game. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">His positivity is very disarming, and funny, but I felt more for his wife who wanted to leave him but cried. It's like seeing someone's newborn baby. You are taken aback by the red crying mass, but coo over it. You cannot say, 'Oh my gawd it's ugly!' So you cannot say you are a tad put off by so much of Ted Lasso's happy positivity. It's great, but is it enough to make him the one and only hero? </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">The Christmas party at the Higginses was just such a reminder of friends and family getting together before the Pandemic, that I was touched. He wonders how everyone was going to fit in his tiny home, and when everyone shows up, does, he's happy to sit and share his home! Bringing food when you go for a party is such a natural thing to do, and no one tries to outbid one another on who brought what and how much.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Everyone knows that Nate flips because he's being ignored, and that sounds like like they wrote this role for a ten year old. He literally says, 'You ignored me, so I'm going to take my strategies and go (to the other team).' </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Coach Beard, especially the extra episode that was written in because Apple wanted two more episodes, seems to be so needless. I like him as a sounding board for Ted, and how he just nods instead of speaking. But he's only propping Ted, and that feels hollow after a while. But I love his chess dates...</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Sorry if I sound like someone who wants to find fault with niggly little things, and I cannot try to make you believe I'm not. But when everyone and their uncle make a show sound like the best thing since sliced bread, I watch the show with a certain defense mechanism kicking in. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">That confession done, perhaps it's time to look at how show after show has men who who are not exactly qualified to do the job given to them, get away because they're 'nice'. Ted Lasso is like Harry Potter, a wizard who gets saved first by his mum, then by his friends Hermione and Ron, Hagrid, Sirius Black and Dumbledore but the hero of the books? Harry Potter. I always wondered why he's so great if Hermione has to fix his broken glasses! </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Anyway. Much has been written about Ted Lasso being the best example of what and how men should be today. Sure, if I had to deal with Ted Lasso brand of chirpyness every day in real life, I would want something much, much stronger than tea. And if you still believe he's super funny, I am sure you believe JC was a white man with blue eyes. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"> </span></p><div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div>manisha lakhehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01788008662800072316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10189005.post-81411789413042025012020-10-20T08:08:00.000+05:302020-10-20T08:08:18.286+05:30Review: Putham Pudhu Kaalai<p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>On Amazon Prime Video</b></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>Five very melodramatic, very loud short films that could have worked even without the COVID theme.</b></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Mini Review:</i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>Why are we Indians so over the top in the drama department? Why do we need so much loud background score and music in every film we make? For a supposed 'films made during the pandemic', how and why were a camera crew inside the stories? Why are all these films so staged? Except for one film that touched me most - and that too did not have a direct connection to the pandemic - others seemed to be fake. Such a waste! </b></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Main Review:</i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I watched Social Distance which has 8 short films during the lockdown in America, and wrote about it on MoneyControl. Here is the link: </span></p><p><a href="https://www.moneycontrol.com/news/trends/social-distancing-review-netflix-show-tells-quarantine-stories-that-show-we-are-one-5974651.html" style="font-family: arial;">Social Distance on Netflix</a><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">When I was reviewing this, I realised that there were to be five Tamil short films on the Lockdown on Amazon Prime Video. Excited to watch our version, I watched the films as soon as they were released on saturday october 17.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">It's already monday night (19th) and I'm struggling to understand why watching Social Distance was so much easier to watch and this was such a task. Social Distance had me feel for the characters, my cup of empathy overflowed. This made me feel too, but despair.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Pardon the comparison, but if they can use simple devices like cell phones and laptops to create eight wonderful films, why do we have an extensive editing of stories shot like they were shot like regular movies, with a camera crew et al? </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Why is it that Social Distance is able to use music gently and make films that offer emotions on a roller coaster, then we make films with choreographed dancing and singing and loud background music to tell stories?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>The first story: </i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">An older man shoos off the household help because he has planned a naughty weekend with a lady friend. I have never wanted to slap anyone so hard as I did this very obviously grown up man literally going tee hee hee like a naughty child (i'm not even trying to say young man. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">So the premise is 'you make me feel young again' and the director turns the old man young again and the older woman into a young person. I mean how embarrassed are we to actually show an older man romancing an older woman? And why oh why do they have to dance to a song that says, 'Baby, baby!' And why are they drinking what looks like pomegranate juice gone cloudy? </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">So lockdown is announced and they inadvertently get 21 days of privacy. But here we see them fighting about wet towels on the bed! Erm...</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The film has one real moment when the woman admits: no one in my home has ever asked me if I wanted tea...</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">But the young couple needed a few tight slaps. How much overacting can you do in a short film?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>The Second Story:</i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I loved this film, but it has nothing to do with being forced to stay indoors during the lockdown. A granddaughter comes to stay with grandpa. Why is she staying when she said they would come only to give him diwali sweets, no one knows. But she's on zoom calls (assuming people did not work on zoom calls before the lockdown!) and the grandpa interruots. From I hate grandpa to I love you and mom loves you too is a sweet jouney even though predictable. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Trouble is, this story works even if it weren't shot during the pandemic. Sigh.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>The Third Story:</i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Father and sister come to pick up Akka at the airport. The airport's bustling. And Akka has shown up because mother is in the ICU. Aha, I think! Finally a movie about COVID. But nopes. The mother has been in a coma. Dammit!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Then we realise amma has been home all this while. Dad is doing the dressing up of amma and taking care of her at home. If she's in a coma, does she not need help with the breathing? Is she dead already and appa is Norman Bates? That would have been a fun film, actually. But no. Alas, the old lady seems to be responding to her daughters and predictably when the youngest daughter - who is supposedly rebellious - calls, the old lady...</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Ugh! this ending you can see from the International Space Station. It's that obvious. The only saving grace, is realising Suhasini Mani Ratnam wears the same powder blue kurta that I once had...</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Is this film going to encourage more people to get their loved ones in coma back home from ICU care and think they're going to be cured by talking to them? Irresponsible... </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Don't worry, the sisters here are prone to a song and dance too. Thank god for the move ten seconds forward button on Prime Video.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>The Fourth Story:</i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">This is such a bizarre story about an old lady and her son (doc in quarantine) cold curing a girl's Cocaine addiction, who stops by for a lift just when lockdown is announced. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">It is not just the nightclub singer who dresses in 'nightclub goer type clothes' who overacts her addiction, but the old lady overdoes it too! The poor doc has to scream, 'Amma, that white powder is drugs-aa!'</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">She cured enough to say she's going to rehab. And the doc trusts her...This film does great disservice to those working tirelessly to help people get over their drug habit.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Who are these people who write such stories?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>The Fifth Story:</i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">By the time we get to this one you just want to fast forward the whole story. The film starts with someone watching a religious channel where the obviously fake guru is promising a miracle. The man looks like a gangster, smokes like a chimney and seems to be plagued by demons. Who is he, and why he's behaving like that, no clue. Then there are two gangsters (one of them watching the same channel) who are hungry, literally. They case a car supposed to be filled with money and there's a botched robbery attempt, and a dead guy revived and... </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The former dead guy is supposed to be a movie director and he takes to laughing like a maniac. I want to laugh exactly like that at executives at Amazon who have been duped into believing that this set of films is 'trendy because they've shot during the pandemic' and will bring in audiences! </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I realise that the films are so loud, I have turned the volume to minimum. I had to forward the song and dance routines (too many!), and that these five short films felt like never ending. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">What is sad that these are renowned directors (and actors) who will get away with this shoddy representation of our times. These films are so far from reality, you'd think everyone lives in perfectly art-directed bungalows and are shot bydirectors who don't know how to think of technology that is keeping the rest of of us sane during these awful times.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span></p>manisha lakhehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01788008662800072316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10189005.post-33771014551480996612020-09-22T17:54:00.003+05:302020-09-22T17:55:19.535+05:30Venting about Dolly Kitty Aur Woh Chamakte Sitare<p><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">A movie about women my arse! This movie should have been called:</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>Another OTT Movie about women empowered by smoking, drinking and taking off their inhibitions at the delivery of food.</b></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Pretentious shit about small town again. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I am rather benign when it comes to 'hating'. I have started looking at bad stories like how people look at dog poo on the street when they're out for an errand. You see it, you step away from it and then think thoughts like, 'What idiots! When will they learn to pick up after their dog? I wish there were police drones who could spot them ask them to be responsible!'</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">But here we are! Netflix's original Indian content, (and most OTT platforms want only content from 'famous' or 'known names') touted on many media sites as how amazing these stories are going to be... </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">this is the tralier: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=as3YLG5DmL0</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">the sister who says, 'kuch bhi ho, hum hain tumhare liye,' is the one who drags the other by the arm and calls her 'Kulta' and 'kulakshini'! </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">It could have been two sisters competing, it's not even that! it's just a hotch potch. 'Drink hai kya?' and idle, 'Women need a lonely hearts club too.'</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">It's a woman director so she must be right, right?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Wrong. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Dolly is a woman is so class conscious, she pretends she is moving to a better home, a home with AC, jaguar fittings, she has even lied about her need to work at office that 'she's only working as a hobby'. HOW do i reconcile with the fact that she is going to make out with a delivery guy? </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Most people do not have more than necessary conversation with delivery/service people. They say thank you if they are well brought up, but beyond that no one gets talking to the delivery guys. I can get that she asks the delivery guy to come inside because he's late and he helps with the food, but I doubt she will flirt with him readily. the delivery guy may even call her 'mataji' since she's in the greater delhi area, and she could take objection to that, but no matter what these so-called writers from small town insist, women do not want to have sex with sweaty plumbers, electricians, drivers and delivery boys Or do they? </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Kitty has enough spunk to stand up for herself in the chappal factory, but begins to cry buckets in the romance app job. Did anyone force her to choose that job? Could she not have stitched petticoats and blouses like Bollywood film heroines of yesteryear or sold her body like in Pradeep Sarkar's laaga Chunari Mein Daag...</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The only honest moment in their relationship is when Kitty tells her Dollydi that Jiju was trying to feel me up, Dolly does not believe it. Or pretends it didn't happen.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Aamir Bashir the husband, the two sons, Konkona's delivery boy lover, Konkona's boss, Kitty's lover Pradeep, Kitty's friend's DJ lover, DJ's brother and his entire Hindu gang are all the important male characters in the film. ALL are flawed and bad. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Konkona's kids: the older boy is ready to tell tales about how mother ordered food and is passing it off as her own cooking, will tell tales on his mom after he overhears her with the delivery boy. The second son wants to play with dolls, hence is a problem and is gay. So he is beaten up...</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The boss expects Konkona to make them tea.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The builder's man is out to cheat Konkona out of a dream home.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Konkona's delivery boy is a virgin, happy to bend rules to make her happy. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Kitty's lover Pradeep has cheated on his wife, but needs a 'virgin' Kitty to ask him if he has a condom. If Kitty is that innocent, then she should just have been some ingenue who has been taken advantage of by a creep, no?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Even the DJ who when making out with his gal, is looking at Kitty...</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Is there any reason to want to see these stupid characters?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I wish the director had created a story of the two sisters - and you might say that it is their story obliquely - but there are too many distractions for us to want either of them to be redeemed. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">And when you don't care what happens to the characters, that's cinema sin. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I am sure there are small town stories that don't need women to swear, drink or have sex to prove that they have been empowered.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">For god's sake, we had Nargis shoot her wayward son years and years ago and we call her Mother India. Netflix Africa has made Queen Sono a story about a female spy. We are still crying over cheating boyfriends and husbands who call in to have phone sex. Netflix Latin America is making Control Z, a program about high school teens affected by rumor mill on their whatsapp...We pair a frigid housewife with a virgin delivery boy! </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Sigh.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I know I am looking forward to watching Laxmmi Bomb on DisneyPlusHotstar but I had better treat all Indian content like dog poop until someone else tells me that it's not shiite. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Someone please tell the men and women taking these decisions on Netflix and Amazon Prime Video that it's not necessary that Bollywood stars can deliver good OTT content. Sitare chamak nahi rahe, fuse ho gaye hain. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p>manisha lakhehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01788008662800072316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10189005.post-67065137661325528742020-08-01T12:25:00.000+05:302020-08-01T12:25:08.415+05:30Review: Lootcase<br /><div><font face="arial"><b>I like Kunal Khemmu muchly, but how can there be so many smart alecks in one movie?</b></font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial">Rating: Blah</font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial">I watched the first 30 minutes waiting for smart dialog to end and movie to begin.</font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;">Then I fast forwarded the film... watching it in bits and pieces...</span></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial">So this is not a review, but dil se niklee aah:</font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial">Q. Itne saare shaane log ek film mein kaise aaye?</font></div><div><font face="arial">A. Dialog writer ka revenge. Narration ke wakt hasaya sabko.</font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial">Q. Underworld/Bhai log itne stupid aur quirky hain toh how did they reach the top of their business?</font></div><div><font face="arial">A. Nat Geo subscribe karo.</font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial">Q. Why are kids in movies so annoying?</font></div><div><font face="arial">A. Bhagwan ki den hain.</font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial">Q. How do we know the situation is funny?</font></div><div><font face="arial">A. Background music batayegaa naa...</font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial">Q. Aisi filmein kaise ban jaatee hain?</font></div><div><font face="arial">A. You have to be a small town lad who lives with other lads (araam nagar?) and then koi bhi concept ho woh bik jaata hai,</font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial">Q. Suitcase full of cash concept naya hai kya?</font></div><div><font face="arial">A. Hollywood made a movie where an ordinary family transports an RV full of drugs, Bollywood has made many movies and the last funny movie was 99 Not Out which is a 2009 movie made by Raj and DK and there is a similar suitcase of cash that is misplaced...</font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial">verdict: there is so much content that you can watch on disney plus hotstar that is better than this thing. I feel for Kunal Khemmu. </font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div>manisha lakhehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01788008662800072316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10189005.post-82355509630895041712020-08-01T10:50:00.001+05:302020-08-01T10:51:13.915+05:30Review: RAAT AKELI HAI<div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><font face="arial"><b>The Raat is Mildly Interesting, Terribly Long and is a Tiresome Watch</b></font><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial"><i>Rating:</i> 3 cups of chai so you don't fall asleep</font></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Mini Review:</i></span></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial"><b>'I will reach the truth, no matter what' promises Nawazuddin Siddiqui who is the policeman in charge of the investigation of a murder of a rich old man who has just married his 'rakhail'. Everyone at home looks suspicious and have a motive. The film makes us go through the elimination process and kills innocent bystanders (yawn!). If you are a fan of detective stories, then this is too tiresome, but there are many interesting things about this film. </b></font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial"><i>Main Review:</i></font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial"><b>Mere Paas Maa Hai</b></font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial">Nawazuddin is a cop named Jatil Yadav. (After Hathiram Choudhary in Pataal Lok, an unusual name for a cop does not even ask for an eye roll, but they explain it because they think it's clever: mother made a spelling error Jatin ko Jatil bana diya). His relationship with his mother is the best thing in the movie.</font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial">Ila Arun plays his mother, who wants him to get married, misses conversation, gets ragged at him for not talking to her nicely and replaces his cream with fair and lovely...If you need one reason to see this film, this should be it.</font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial"><b>Mere Paas Sidekick Hai</b></font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial">The second reason is his sidekick Nandu (played wonderfully by Shreedhar Dubey) who works with Nawazuddin, offers a counterpoint, and even begins dressing like Nawazuddin after Nawaz is out of the picture. I loved that change in Nandu (he wears a leather jacket, and sunglasses and walks with a swagger). </font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial"><b>Is Raat Mein Bahut Tropes Hain</b></font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial">Otherwise the story of a haveli with interesting dubious characters is a trope. The aunt who spies, the girl who doesn't care about the dead patriarch, the rakhail who is dames, the pregnant daughter with a loud, angry husband, the son who is the rakhail's secret lover, the maid servant who has seen everything but won't say anything. </font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial">The cops and political leaders are straight out of a stereotype too: the hero cop (leather jacket, sunglasses, motorbike swag), the sidekick who is part of the system but will change his opinion, the corrupt chief of police, the politician who uses power to corrupt the situation, the politician's goons who do his dirty work...</font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial">I know we have now have access to shows from all around the world and see sexually deviant content, and I would be stupid to say fathers don't rape daughters in India because we are sanskari...but showing the old patriarch take pictures of the young woman is just not necessary.</font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial">Plus some red herrings are just needless (will not add spoilers). Also no one can tell us convincingly why the old man had to marry his rakhail. </font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial">The only thing weird was the romance between Radhika Apte (who plays the 'rakhail') and Nawazuddin even though we are given broad hints by the conversation he has with his mom. 'You can put conditions on with who you are going to fall in love'. You know the more he says he wants a 'cultured woman' he's going to find one that is off kilter.</font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial">It's a better watch than Lootcase on Disney Plus Hotstar, that's for sure. Nawazuddin delivers. The problem with a who dun it is that it has too many whos who could've done it, and it painstakingly goes through each one, so... I yawned so many times. </font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial">The biggest grouse: I love this song from Jewel Thief and it's really unfair to use it as title for the film. </font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div><div><font face="arial"><br /></font></div>manisha lakhehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01788008662800072316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10189005.post-6130374356920515712020-06-25T13:27:00.002+05:302020-06-25T13:34:11.679+05:30Review: BULBBUL<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>The Lore and the Lure of a Girl Called Chudail </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Rating:</i> Can't Miss It</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Mini Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>A beautifully told period tale of a girl who likes scary stories and grows up to realize she's a part of one herself. A wonderful cast and even better performances that make you wish there was a 'chudail' out there in real life who was really out to avenge women who are hurting. </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Main Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Remember how women were told that their job was to do only one thing: '<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwkulCFjdB8">gehne</a> banwaao, gehne tudwaao' way back in Sahab Biwi Aur Ghulam? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Well, little Bulbbul gets married to a much older man (Rahul Bose is a fabulous Bade Thakur) who has a mad twin, and a very sweet little brother Satya (grows up to be Avinash Tiwary whom you last saw in the undervalued Laila Majnu). The mad twin is married to the beautiful, bitchy Choti bahu (played brilliantly by Paoli Dam, whom I saw last in the weird Kali 2 on Zee5).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The atmospherics in the film are just breathtaking. The thakuron ki haveli which is very Bangla, very British, the family temple for Kali, the eerie forests that connect the haveli to the outside world. Everything transports you to that time where you will begin to hear whispers about 'chudail'...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I fell in love with the four poster beds and the rest of the furniture in the haveli, the luxurious upholstry and the clothes and jewelry everyone was wearing. And yes, the Mubkhar shaped like a bird for Bulbbul's hair. I loved watching Badi bahu turn out to be sassy and mysterious and wondered where she could have found so much confidence. Bulbbul is played by the lovely Tripti Dimri who has outgrown the awful Laila she played in Laila Majnu (I remember wondering why Majnu actually fell for this silly vain chit). She has a better role in Bulbbul and credit goes to director Anvita Dutt for making Bulbbul what she is on screen.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Tripti and Satya are connected again in this story, but there's a catch. Dr Sudip (the gorgeous Parambrata Chatterjee) looks after Bulbbul. Satya is insanely jealous and begins seeing him as a villain. He even accuses Bulbbul of 'making a mistake'...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But the villain here is as Bulbbul says, 'Tum saare ek jaise ho.'</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There are murders in the village, and everyone says it is the chudail. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But I won't say more. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I am one of those people who figure out things in a story (it's a curse, I tell you!) but the reveal in this film is quite gratifying.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And yes, this film makes me wish for a real life chudail to help women pushed to impossible corners. Anushka Sharma as producer is making wonderful choices. </span><br />
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manisha lakhehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01788008662800072316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10189005.post-12192912532725342742020-05-22T02:20:00.000+05:302020-05-22T11:01:17.670+05:30Review: GHOOMKETU<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Aao sab quirky quirky khelein!</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">1.5 stars</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Mini Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Kyon?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Main Review: </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">'Everyone is creating shows that are violent and every character has gaalis coming out of their pores, let's make people laugh instead, Kya kehte ho?'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">'India is not the cities, we should focus on the village.'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">'Yes! A village with unique characters...'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">'Unique? As in quirky?'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">'And bring the village to the city!'</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">'Explosive!'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">'Of course! Open that rolodex and assemble the ensemble cast!'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">'And we will make a super quirky comedy, sir!'</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And the men gather around adding quirk after quirk to every character. No one cares if the audience will wonder why there's not one, not a single normal person in the village...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Dadda screams and screams and then plays the flute. Raghubir Yadav does yelling in every movie, so director ka kaam aasaan. Check!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Nawazuddin Siddiqui is a Phantom rolodex staple, he can do any role. He will be Dhoomketu..</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sir, Ghoomketu, sir!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Haan, haan, same difference. Get him! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sir, his designer says he should wear strange clothes. But writer says people in villages don't wear such clothes...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Tell him to shut up and write. Everyone in villages wears clothes like Tik Tok stars. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ok sir. Done hai sir!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Let's make Anurag Kashyap a bumbling cop because he scared the heck out of people as Rudra the psycho in Imaikka Nodigal. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Lekin he doesn't look like a 'Badlani'...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If people at Netflix have this same doubt, we will use words like 'universality of the character'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sounds impressive sir! </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Lekin AK sir toh, yahan ke sir hain, unko...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">No problem, he is very sporting. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ok sir! Very good sir! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Editor ka role Bijendra Kala ko do.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He's very good sir. Will be very good as writer of film genre handbook</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But that's too straightforward. Put him behind a big partition with a small window.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yeh best rahega sir! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And call the newspaper of the village 'Gudgudi'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Whaa?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Thoda quirky hona chaahiye naa?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Okay sir, best!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Thoda politics bhi daalo so Swanand Kirkire ke character ko Bheeshma pitamah ki tarah kuch role mile.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Hain?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Give him a quirky backstory. Could not get love, so became leader.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Whaa?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Aur kaun baaki hai?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The women, sir!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Put one in ghoonghat, make other one fat and in ghoonghat and make the third fart.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ila Arun said yes, sir. For Santo bua! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">She did?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But she insists she won't fart on screen, sir. Because, dignity... </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We'll figure that one out.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">She will be the best! Most quirky, most encouraging bua ever.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Writer? Be funny! Sab dialog mein quirky hona chaahiye. Script ka koi bhi page open karoon toh quirky hona chahiye. At least three!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So you have quirky things like 'Bloody Pool' followed by 'Sui Patak Sannata' and Nawazuddin Siddiqui's Tik Tok inspired shirts. So it doesn't matter if the cast forgets that they are supposed to be villagers and their English is supposed to be less than perfect.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">By the time Ghoomketu comes back home from a failed stint in Bollywood, and you have a pain in the neck from watching Ranveer Singh and Sonakshi Sinha act out Dilwale Dulhaniya De Jaayenge and Amitabh Bachchan mouth Ghoomketu's lines off a bhelpuri paper you have gagged on your own vomit.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">How can anyone say 'Content is King' after watching this? </span><br />
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manisha lakhehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01788008662800072316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10189005.post-48253105011914583892020-03-13T15:45:00.001+05:302020-03-13T19:04:59.232+05:30Review: ANGREZI MEDIUM<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>If Hindi Medium Was Fabulous,</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Angrezi Medium Is Opposite.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">1.5 stars</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Mini Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Call me stingy but when filmmakers do really stupid things like write the movie wearing blinders whilst under a rock and get carried away on fame earned by their earlier film, then it's tough to give them a pass (gradewise and otherwise). This film has a great cast, some 'dil ko touch kar gaye' scenes but the rest are like vomit emoji. Many times over. </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Main Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Half a star for the awesome motichoor laddu placed on our seats at the screening of the film. Despite my fears about the corona virus, I picked up the box from the seat and licked my fingers after eating. Delicious.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>One Star For The Feel Good Moments. </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So we realise that Ghasitaram is a name many mithai shops use and they're all related to one another. They're fighting to use the name and they take one another to court. What's fun is that they go to court in a bus together. Because, family.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">That itself is a great idea, and the court scene is funny where the court proceedings are derailed because they start discussing daru and chakhna instead. But that's one scene.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The other best part of the movie is this fabulous trio of </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Irrfan Khan who plays Champak Bansal, Deepak Dobriyal is Gopi Bansal and Kiku Sharda as Gajju Bansal. Three men who are not just related to one another but are friends who get drunk on the terrace at night. Their conversation is so good you are immediately endeared to the characters (that weird laugh Deepak Dobriyal indulges in is forgiven)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Everyone is going to tell you how heartwarming Irrfan Khan is with his daughter Radhika Madan. One scene where she comes home drunk and accuses her dad is wonderful. After that, her insane need to study in England is a 'bachpan mein maara hota toh yeh din na dekhne padte!' moment. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There is also a moment where Irrfan Khan looks pensive at the window in London, worried about how he's going to get his daughter admitted to college, which is as good as the scene in Nil Bate Sannata where Chanda (Swara Bhaskar) wonders about how she's going to get her daughter to study...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Dimple Kapadia is still stunning. Still amazing. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>13 Reasons Why All Good Scenes Stand Cancelled.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">1. The film releases on Friday the 13th. So bad writing gets blamed on the bad luck date.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">2. Corona virus ke kaaran people didn't come to the theaters, warna hit thee boss.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">3. Whoever wrote the English parts given to white people has never spoke to a white person. They don't 'maite', 'eh?!' and 'lad' in every sentence. Not even during cricket commentary.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">4. Died laughing when London airport, immigration, police were all 'white'. Why sacrifice the movie for cheap comedy? Kaun hain yeh log? There are brown people everywhere, even the Mayor of London is Sadiq Khan. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">5. British cops who mistake achaar for drugs? Seriously?! In 2020, their drug sniffing dogs might ask for mathri when they sniff out achaar. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">6. Irrfan Khan speaks English with a tourist in Udaipur. Broken English, but English. All of a sudden upon landing in London he is unable to speak a word of the language. But he knows how to use Google Translate which helpfully translates 'Dawa' into 'Drugs'. Try it. It clearly says 'Medicine'. So they sacrifice everything for a cheap joke. Of course when he says he's going to make drugs, the all white, all brainless policemen arrest him after overacting their alarm. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">7. We see NO Indian person in London except the boy who picks up Radhika Madan at the airport. And she's so stupid, she doesn't make any effort to find where her uncle and dad are. If you ever go to London, there are helpful signs everywhere. And the boy who picks her up also just whisks her away. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">8. So Radhika Madan has managed to contact a frat house Indian, without actually having a provisional admission... And they're all very happy to share their alcohol. Uh-uh! If you have studied at any college in London, then NO ONE shares alcohol so freely. They all bring their own booze. The frat house hilarity is very American. Thoda konfujiyaa gaye hain... If you google 'what do students in Britain drink?', the answer will be beer followed by wine. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">9. So the principal in an Udaipur school tears up the admission letter. Erm... It's 2020, those acceptance letters are all online now. So the whole nonsense they go through to get admission is a waste. There could have been comedy in trying to forge a letter from the university, where Irfan and Deepak try to reach hackers in some biddy's basement... Sigh. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">10. The boy who rescues Radhika Madan has a dad who is a politician, but he works so he's not a burden on his dad. Doting daughter doesn't try to locate her dad via her friend's politician dad? That would have been comedy too... But the country where no one figured out that the two gents did not speak English and deported them has an Indian person who is a politician? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">11. Please Pankaj Tripathi, I used to be a fan. Have said that he cannot do a thing wrong. But after seeing him ham away at his role, trying hard to be funny was like someone stabbing me with the butter knife. Pankaj Tripathi starts speaking like, 'Main batatee hoon' (as if he were confusing gender) but then he forgets that in trying to be funny. I thought he's be extending his hand and painting his nails too... They just didn't think of it, no?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">12. Why is Ranvir Shorey made to dress as if he had flown down from the West Indies instead of cold England. And his family is dressed like Goan Aunties straw hats and all... No wonder Meghan Markle chose to leave England and move to Canada.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">13. The auction is as sham as it can get. But that Bappi Lahiri crack? Fizzzzzzled out. Who's your audience? Busta Rhymes is what most young people understand. And the hawala money exchanging hands is not even original...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Friday The Thirteenth or no, this movie just bombed. Even though the father-daughter equation could have been 'aww' inducing, these ghastly mistakes would have made Citizen Khan cringe too. Watch Hindi Medium on one of the streaming services. It had a heart. This one just makes you wince. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">P.S. If you are a fan of Irrfan Khan then go to Netflix and watch him in Tokyo Trial.</span><br />
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manisha lakhehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01788008662800072316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10189005.post-42886515954396377252020-03-06T19:59:00.001+05:302020-03-06T19:59:19.172+05:30Review: BAAGHI 3<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Bollywood throwback story that's as senseless as the action!</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1 star</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Mini Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Bollywood brothers have always been like Ram Aur Shyam. One weak and the other strong. Bollywood police dad dies making strong brother promise he'll take care of weak brother. They're not twins though. And only in Bollywood do weak brothers show up in Inspector ka uniform and strong brother shadow boxes for him. What follows is so deafening, you cannot fall asleep, and if you follow the story, your brain dies. Slowly. Over 143 minutes.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Main Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Yeh Heera Hai, Heera!</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Jackie Shroff is Bollywood dad who is rough on younger son because he knows 'yeh ladka heera hai heera' (but they did not pay the dialogue guy enough to write the obvious stuff because they spent money on gaalis for heroine that make no sense, and some forgettable supposedly funny lines and names for cops: whatever happened to hum angrez ke zamane ke jailor hain? But I get ahead of myself) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So heera beta is younger Tiger Shroff who beats up anyone who beats his older softer brother who is a crybaby. It's Riteish Deshmukh! Before you say what the what happened to Mauli? He had a double role there? What happened to Ram Aur Shyam? Even there Dilip Kumar had a double role... Oh! Tiger Shroff can never play weaker brother! He will have to wear clothes for that...And what normal clothes can fit around those muscles?!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So Riteish bhai is made to cry at the movies in this movie, and when he bumps into baddies with creative forgettable name and get hit, he yells for RONNNNNNNIE!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tiger who goes by the name Ronnie shows up, beats up the bad guys (I can imagine movie theater sending bills for all that stuff destroyed...) and saves his bhai. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When the ex policeman (served with their dad) chachaji asks Tiger to become cop in place of dead daddy (died saving innocents during a riot), </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tiger gets a great idea, 'Let crybaby bade bhaiyya become cop, I will shadow him and beat up baddies for him.'</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>India Me Baddies Kam Hai, Foreign Jaao!</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For some reason baddies are kidnapping families from India, flying them to Syria, separating them by having men wear bomb vests and blowing themselves up. No one tells us what the big bad baddy called Abu Jalal (the guy from Fauda, Jameel Khoury) does with leftover families.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The moment the henchman for the big bad baddy says, 'Boss knows 44 languages!', I imagined him at the United Nations instead of some fake 'kingdom within Syria'.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I blame Netflix for these Arabic baddies are spouting these days. How can you read when your brain cells have died with this mind numbing story? Why are they ruining Jaideep Ahlawat and Vijay Verma by turning them into good guys so quickly? Had </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I been Jaideep Ahlawat, starving alone on the street, I would still refuse to play a bad guy called IPL. Perhaps that's why he chooses to step on a land mine and die!</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tiger is made to fight with randomly parked train engines in a factory, stacked cars at a dump, SUVs in fake Syria, and dude fights atop helicopters, bringing Black Hawks down. Body count? Syria aise hee khaali hua hai kya? </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lots of action sequences later (like Salman Khan his shirt catches fire and Tiger Shroff rips off the shreds to show us his shredded body). Shraddha Kapoor ne diya rag remains intact though.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why Shraddha Kapoor gives him a rag as a keepsake, no one knows. Perhaps no one even know what she's doing in the movie. There is no place for women in such films. Even Disha Patani who is made to dance looks bored as an item girl...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In the big fight with the big bad guy, Tiger gets stabbed and dies. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Phew! No Baaghi 4 then! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Spoke too soon! Darpoke brother is suddenly enraged and kills remaining bad guys - with a perfectly handy brick - including the big bad guy. But hero kabhi marta hai kya? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dammit! Riteish will be his older brother in the next film called 'Do Baaghi 4' or something equally ghastly.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Marna Chaahiye... That dialog is boring now...</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tiger delivers his standard Heropanti lines 'meri jaati nahi', 'bhai bulata hai toh phod deta hoon' as if he were disinterested. Thankfully his action sequences (you get the feeling you have seen them before) are rather cool. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I was quite uncomfortable stepping into a public place that could give free rein to the deadly virus. But after surviving this film, I am sure India will survive the Corona Virus too. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Truly, Baaghi 3 is a cure for the Corona Virus</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">P.S. Ground clearance on tanks is 19 inches. how thin is this lad?</span><br />
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manisha lakhehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01788008662800072316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10189005.post-38155242983448182242020-02-28T13:15:00.002+05:302020-02-28T13:15:57.427+05:30Review: THAPPAD<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>A Slap Is A Big Deal! </b><br /></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2 stars</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Mini Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>The movie should come with trigger warning for women who are suffering all kinds of abuse, physical as well as emotional abuse. Even though it tapers down to a tame end, this film raises many important question: how much abuse is too much abuse? Tapsee Pannu makes another great choice, supported brilliantly by the rest of the cast. If only a woman had written the ending...</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Main Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is the story of a housewife who leads a very comfortable life, is looking to move to London, loves her husband and mother in law, loved by parents as well. Her life comes undone when at a party her husband slaps her in a fit of anger. It is uncharacteristic for him as well as it is for her. How he reacts and how everyone else around this happy household reacts is stunning to her because she realises with that one slap, that she's no better than the maid who gets slapped by her husband every day.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She chooses to step out of her comfort zone and everything comes unraveled. Only her father offers her unflinching support. Everyone else tells her, 'It's just a slap.'</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I will let you watch the film because you will find yourself taking sides with so many people in the film:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'What's the big deal?'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'People slap only because they love so much.'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'He bought her a diamond bracelet afterwards na to say sorry! Phir bhi problem hai!'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'I was angry! But you should have not tried to pull me away.'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'Women need to learn to compromise.'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'You be the big person, you learn to forgive.'</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Superb performances by Kumud Mishra who is fabulous as the thoughtful and kind father, Ratna Pathak Shah as the conflicted mother, but the best performance (even better than Tapsee Pannu, in my humble opinion) is the performance by Geetika Vaidya who plays the maid. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The maid is a brilliant foil to her memsaab. She's sassy, but gets slapped around all the time. She is kind and sensitive (her, 'Can I oil your head' made me weep in the darkness of the theater), and as she watches the memsaab go through a tough choice in her life, is transformed to a person who can stand up for herself. The character has been written brilliantly.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The lawyer's character (played by Maya Sarao) seems rather good. A woman who has a man friend on the side because she's in a crappy marriage where she gets no credit as a professional also tapers off tamely when she says goodbye to her young friend. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The only thing that made me grit my teeth is the really easy way out of a problem called Taapsee is to get her pregnant. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The last melodramatic scene of the puja for the child and her gently telling her mother in law that she was mad at everyone for not 'taking her side' in that long give-me-an-award speech is just written because they did not find any real conclusion for the 'problem' ... This is where I would suggest the filmmakers ASK a women, several women for that matter as to what they would do. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So after taking me on a high with this slap on patriarchy, they reduce the woman who makes that dent into the system into becoming a 'mother'.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was as lame a conclusion as the fake 'woke' opening credits where everyone put their mother's names as their middle names. Bah!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">P.S: No point writing about the men's roles played competently because those are ordinary everyday men in real life. Anyone can play them. </span><br />
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manisha lakhehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01788008662800072316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10189005.post-32443465442841675722020-02-21T23:44:00.001+05:302020-02-21T23:47:50.159+05:30Review: SHUBH MANGAL JYADA SAVDHAN<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Hyper, Overactive, Dramatic Gay Bois Meet Even More Melodramatic 'Bollywood' Small Town Family. A Very Gaudy Fare.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">0.5 stars</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Mini Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Two lads in love go to a small town for a sister's wedding and end up telling the family they are gay. The family hyperventilates and hyperventilates until your head hurts and in the end the 'over my dead body' dad who never really says over my dead body, comes around. Bollywood small town is loud and everyone tries hard to be funny all the time and you come away with a headache, and eyes burned by all the garishness.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Main Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Kartik and Aman Tripathi. What a Horrible Pair.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ayushmann Khurana plays Kartik, a nose ring wearing gay lad who is partners with Aman Tripathi played by Jitendra Kumar and the film opens with both of them wearing toothpaste superman outfits, selling toothpaste at a mall. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">From the mall they go off to help a girl run away from home. She gives them a lakh rupees, but because they bungle she runs away with their motorbike.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Is this their job? Bhumi Pednekar in that small cameo seems quite capable of running away on her own, no? Especially because she knows exactly how long her dad is going to sit glued to the TV, watching KBC. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Why are they trying to be clever, you wonder. And you are not enamored of protagonists who say they want to help lovers unite but take money for it, and also bungle the whole operation. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Hmm. But Ayushmann Khurana leaning on Jitendra Kumar on the motorbike is cute. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Woah! Kartik throws a tantrum wanting to attend Aman's sister's wedding. Aman gives in because they sleep on a train then run (still in the toothpaste superman suits) to the train to Allahabad. Do they not have a home? What happened to the mobike bhumi pednekar appropriated?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Such a horrible pair, they are shown bickering all through the movie. There are angry glares, but no looking longingly at the person you love, nothing redeeming about their love. They even discuss how Aman is 'not wholly in' the kiss or whatever... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Why should the audience care what happens to these two?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sonam Kapoor - whom everyone disses for being unable to act because she's a pretty face - did a hundred per cent better job in her 'coming out' film <i>Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Toh Aisa Laga</i>... You liked both the girls in the film, their relationship and hated Rajkummar Rao for outing them in public the way he does in the film...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Bollywood Small Town Is Nuts</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There will be Mother and Father and chacha and chachi and neighbours and one annoying relative (possibly old grandma who coughs, or a dead grandpa, and in this film, a lad with an ipad).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The gas in the kitchen will always have tea boiling away and people will drink tea.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If they eat, god forbid they should have manners. Everyone will eat as if food was meant to be eaten noisily. And there will be Jalebi.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And to annoy the intelligent audience and to get laughter from the cheap seats, there will be the ghastly burp after eating.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Bodily functions like pooping and peeing will be shown generously. And the bathing with buckets. I try to not puke into my neighbor's popcorn when i see toothbrushes in mouths. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Such a horrid surprise to see Neena Gupta and Gajraj Rao play full on Nautanki parents. Manu Rishi and Sunita Rajwar who play Chacha and Chachi are less OTT. (The half star for this film is shared by the two.) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Maanvi Gagroo is a relief because she really looks like she's having fun. But they should have given her gold lines goggles for the wedding, no?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And the scene where Gajraj Rao pretends to kill himself: Neena Gupta should have given any one of the sarees in the cupboard in the room instead of taking off the 'new shaadi ki saree' no?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When men write these supposedly funny scenes, they forget to put themselves in a woman's place! Neena Gupta would have given him the sheet on the bed to make a noose instead, no?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Ghanta Promoting A Gay Narrative</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Maaf karo! If this is how you want to help the gay cause, I am sure the community might not want it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">First Bollywood need to get over the fact that gay men DO NOT LOOK LIKE BOLLYWOOD'S IDEA of gay men. They don't always have floppy wrists, neither do they wear nose rings.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And members of the LGBTQ+ community DO NOT WANDER ABOUT WITH A RAINBOW FLAG EVERYWHERE THEY TRAVEL. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I am sure gay men do not feel the need to be overly demonstrative (read 'act despo') all the time. If nothing, Netflix has a teenage show that deals with gay kids in a smarter way than this film does. The show is called Sex Education' and it deals with teens with hormones. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's a lame excuse to say this movie is pathbreaking because it is challenging/breaking the patriarchal system. Patriarchy is like Sairat. It uses guns. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Even the lame Sooryavamsham got patriarchy right. Here Gajraj Rao just comes across as sham, not once talking about his vansh...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The film promotions said that the writer-director wrote the script for over a year. The audience could have waited longer for him to get this script right. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">P.S. When people start selling you the film as if it was going to do 'uddhar' of a community that didn't have a voice so far, I'm sure the people from the LGBTQ+ community would rather wait for real tales than this gaudy, loud movie.</span><br />
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manisha lakhehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01788008662800072316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10189005.post-8230201609851570782020-02-14T17:38:00.001+05:302020-02-14T17:38:59.570+05:30Review: Love Aaj Kal<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Love Be Akal</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">0 stars</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Mini Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>The owner of a bar cum co-working space guides a young couple who have mixed feelings about love by narrating his own story of lost love. He tries hard to say that young people in love in the 90s had the same trouble of choosing between career or marriage that young people have today. Today? Thousands of people balance both rather well and with much less than the protagonists. The original film made by the same director had some heart. This film is so oxygen deprived the narrative is as tiresome as it is brainless. </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Main Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Poor Randeep Hooda is given the role of the bar owner who once chose career over love and hand holds Sara Ali Khan and Kartik Aryan who play two young lovers. The two Zoey and Veer can't seem to keep their hands off one another but stop right before they make love. Why? Not because 'Sanskaar' but because Veer wants 'andar wali Zoey, bahar wali Zoey, career wali Zoey, roti banane wali Zoey...' </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My brain froze there. These kids have not heard of Zomato? Young men still want their wives to make rotis? Young people today are more likely to order in, watch Netflix and never worry about career or love. Young men today are happy to move cities if their girl has a better job and then worry about finding one themselves, esp because Kartik Aryan is supposed to be a software programmer, something that does not need him to stay in a particular city. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's just shoddy writing and poorly thought out story. Which generation is the filmmaker talking about? It's worse because the original film had defined their career options better.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The story goes back and forth in the past as Randeep Hooda tells his story. It's a time where QSQT plays in the theater, but Udaipur seems to be in the 30s or 70s or something because it is sepia toned. Why? Style? Seems needless. Then Kartik Aryan keeps spreading his arms like Shah Rukh, but the director forgot that Shah Rukh in the 90s was all about body suits/scuba gear type Polo jerseys. Why is Kartik Aryan made to wear strange coat collar bush shirts, only the designer knows. Even Raj Kapoor was better dressed in the movies of his time. It was certainly not the 90s. (Why they don't refer to the gentleman's guide to 100 years of fashion, no one knows.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Why Bollywood, Why?</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Why do men/women who have lost in love go to the Himalayas?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Why does Kartik Aryan pout so much? Why does he not have a hair person combing his hair? (bed head is fine, but...)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Why does Kartik Aryan work at a dam when he says he's a software programmer hired by a water sustainability project?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Why do people always clutch their glass of tea with both hands in the mountains? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Why does Kartik Aryan have to take his girl to meet parents when he does not live with them? Why do we never know why? Just like the two live separate lives in one home, couldn't Kartik Aryan live with them? This just doesn't compute...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>This Love Doesn't Compute. Actually.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Why make a bad version of a film people have already seen? Lack of new stories? Let's say I have not seen the earlier version. Even then the story goes all over the place and you cringe when you hear: Oho! You can 'feeeel' (good, he means) even when the girl is not there?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ugh. I just hope Kartik Aryan did not mean what the words said. I hope Imtiaz Ali does not now remake Jab We Met or something. Someone tell him: If it ain't broke, don't fix it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">P.S. A young couple attempting to romance one another (the movie releases on Valentine's Day, after all) sitting next to me at the FDFS fell asleep during the movie, holding hands. </span><br />
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manisha lakhehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01788008662800072316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10189005.post-62847473859667918582020-02-07T10:07:00.002+05:302020-02-07T10:07:43.869+05:30Review: SHIKARA<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>A Beautiful Mess That Walks On The Edge Of The Deep But Never Dives</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2.5 stars</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Mini Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>It's a beautifully told love story where you fall in love with the leads instantly, but the timing of the film borders on propaganda which makes you want to question motives of the film. Why this? Why now? The film doesn't take a stand like <i>Harud </i>or <i>JoJo Rabbit </i>even, but offers a very tame <i>Life Is Beautiful</i> version. </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Main Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>First, The Problem</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's been six months since the Indian government led by the saffron heads Narendra Modi and Amit Shah have scrapped the special status given to J&K since our independence and appropriated it as a state without a plebiscite. We have been told life is normal but political leaders have been under house arrest, there is no internet or phone services and there are reports of infiltration from a neighboring country. Kashmir is still a time bomb, now covered in saffron. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yes, life for Kashmiri pandits has been awful. They've been refugees in our own country, driven out by guns and a helpless government that made many mistakes. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There is a dialog in the film where a dying 'extremist' says, 'You killed and we killed and the killing will go on in Kashmir' which gives you goosebumps, but every other time it tries a political dialog, you</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> hear Nirmala Sitharaman struggle with Myon Watan in your head and you wonder why did they make this propaganda film now?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The war is brewing and I am afraid, this film is not going to help.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>There Is A Bigger Film Buried In This Film</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No matter how beautifully this film has been shot, <i>Harud</i> it is not. I was more touched - shook really - by the montage of forlorn, shattered, abused, empty homes (presumably Pandit homes) than the entire political propaganda the film tries to make. You wonder how many more refugee stories are there, you wonder what horrors are buried in the rubble, you wonder if those apple trees bear any fruit today or is that fruit poisoned too?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There is a shot in the film where the lead pair return to their former home and look at the corner which was their 'Puja Room'. It has now been replaced by the kitchen sink. The poignancy of the moment hits you really hard. And somewhere you want revenge from people who for very obvious political reasons painted the whole house green. But it is just one moment which could have been a part of a very different narrative. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Another moment is when the children stare at 'masterji' and he asks, 'Why are you staring at me?' One child answers, 'He has never seen a 'pandit' before...'</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Could have been <i>Jojo Rabbit,</i> this film, but isn't. Of course it instantly reminds me of the social media post where the kids in Kashmir are playing a game called 'Frisk'. A game where some children play 'Kashmiris' and others 'Police'. The police frisk the Kashmiris. A horrific childhood, no? But this film does not go there.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>But let's make a love story instead.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A beautiful love story of Shiv and Shanti who fall in love over poetry (of course about shikaras) and then get married in the traditional Kashmiri way (insert folksy wedding songs/traditional wedding rituals here) and they have a wonderful family and a brother who is a doctor and they have friends who are Muslim and everyone lives wonderfully and they eat fat, juicy luscious apples, and Rogan Josh. Shiv Dhar's best friend who is a cricketer and Muslim and they love one another and Kashmir is truly a paradise until buses begin to go to Rawalpindi right from the main bus stand and there are cops with guns and terrorists with Amriki guns leftover from the Afghanistan war and his best friend's dad is shot and of course he runs away to Pakistan and becomes a terrorist. Months later Shiv is picked up and he meets former best friend who is now terrorist and is told to leave for India with family because of the said friendship... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Eventually everyone who is a Hindu is made to leave and live in horrendous conditions in Jammu and later Delhi and yet there is something incredible about their love which is enduring and fragile and beautiful. They make a life in the tents and Shiv keeps writing letters to the American president for justice and teaches camp children, and Shanti keeps making Rogan Josh. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You wonder why she isn't playing Florence Nightingale since she's been shown to attend nursing college when they were romancing... But everything has been shot so beautifully that you care about their despair and the Rogan Josh.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I feel awful for not feeling the pain of the thousands that were forcibly evacuated simply because this is not a partition film where trains full of refugees from both sides of the India-Pakistan border were hacked to death. This is not a story by Manto which tears you apart inside because he lives there even though his heart belongs to Bombay. No Toba Tek Singh, no Leon Uris's Exodus which chronicles the pain of homelessness and the hollowness of the promise of a promised land of Israel like nothing before or nothing after... But this love story is tender. Too tender to survive the harshness of the realities, and hence seem unbelievable in parts. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'We will always have Paris,' Rick says in <i>Casablanca.</i> This film has love, but does not kick you in the gut like Casablanca does. This is Exodus lite. Casablanca Skimmed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The lead pair make their debut and are beautiful together. Aadil Khan and Sadia are so perfect in their love, we love watching them meet, fall in love, get married and get old with a smile on our faces. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The cinematography in <i>Bajrangi Bhaijaan</i> showed us how fabulous Kashmir is. The Chinars in <i>Haider</i> have left a permanent mark on my brain. In this film their wedding night on the Shikara is beautiful but the shot of fat, juicy apples on their tree made me hungry.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This film has crappy timing, and knows it. The claims of displaced people all over the world are real, but when accompanied with tales that become romanticised collective memories that communication students will understand... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The problem is that the film dog whistles so much you are left in a quandary whether to like it (and hence aiding the propaganda) or to hate it (and then everyone looks at you as if you are a traitor).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So I came away feeling as stranded as the calf on Patnitop. Unkindly wondering if it became part of some Wazwan... </span><br />
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manisha lakhehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01788008662800072316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10189005.post-19337022862678756642020-02-07T03:19:00.000+05:302020-02-07T03:19:43.372+05:30Review: MALANG<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Heroine: Tumhe Maza Chaahiye Ki Sukoon?</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Hero: Lemme Take Off My Shirt As Answer </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1 </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">star</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Mini Review: </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Cops are being murdered one after the other in a stylish way. The lead investigator is murderous but sings karaoke in a stylish way. The cop killer wears a stylish leather hoodie and hoodwinks everyone through stylish Goa carnival at night, Oooh! Cop killer has stylish lust and drugs and bucket list angle...All of this knit together with howlarious (yet stylish) lifestyle dialog that makes cola come out of your nostrils. And that's okay because the film is stylish, audience is not.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Main Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There's a hot girl in 'abroad' who smiles a lot tosses her hair and gives her computer and phone to a busker and boards a plane to Goa. That's a Sara by Disha Patani.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There's a dude who lives in some soft focus apartment with pictures of parents on walls. He packs his backpack, hands the picture frames to garbage truck guy and heads to Goa. How do we know he's hot? They show him taking off his tank top ever so often. That's Advait by Aditya Roy Kapoor. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Of course the two meet and fall in lust while fireworks are going on. But it's so stylishly done, they show no hot and heavy anything, no bodice ripping, no acrobatic kiss like in the poster. Only a 'forward' dialog from Sara: I wanted to do this wild you-know-what with a stranger.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Before you choke on this so stylishly sanskari desire of her bucket list, I must tell you about the stylish bead band she wears. It has knots, each representing a fear she must overcome. If she does it, then she unravels one knot. That's what happens when you give away your phone...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My fear was: That bracelet had many many knots!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That brings us to how the movie begins. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hot dude is in prison, having a fight with a whole lot of burly men. Why? No one knows, but the prison fight is stylishly done (like the Punisher, Arrow... Take your pick!)... After he has hit many baddies and broken many tables, we realise a big guy had snatched Hot Dude's bracelet.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Awwww! He fought for her bracelet! So much love! Obviously, since he's wearing the bracelet and fighting other prisoners she must be dead...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Logic and learning from prison movies says Hot Dude should be put in solitary for fighting so many other jailbirds. But he's out. He's then calling demented cop who rubs what looks like cocaine on his hand (like salt for your tequila shots) sniffing it and gumming it too. Whaaat? But it looks stylish and the demented cop sings karaoke so it's okay.That's Anil Kapoor giving it his all to sing-and-then-kill routine.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So Hot Dude calls Demented Cop and says, 'I'm going to kill someone.' </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'Why?'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'Because, Happy Solstice.'</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Both laugh maniacally. One because he knows why, other because he's hamming it up and we laugh helplessly.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are more cops, each outdoing the other in stylish ways. Kunal Khemu looks like the educated cop but turns out that he's got Edward Norton from American History buried inside. That part appears suddenly and the audience is like, 'Whaa...' But very stylish violence against women (almost like the curb stomping) so I suppose you want Hot Dude to kill him too.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hot Dude in the meanwhile has killed another cop at a New Orleans type night carnival during Christmas (?!) in Goa. Whaaa? And then another at a giant CGI football stadium with basement parking. As a footy fan and someone who has visited Fatorda, Tilak, Pandit Nehru, Duler and Bambolim stadia in Goa where football is played, this part felt more fake than stylish.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And which basement parking has TV screens? But Hot Dude (on foot) and Demented Dude (in cop car) play chicken which was very nice. After which Hot Dude gets caught. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In the middle of it all are endless stylish scenes of Hot Girl and Hot Dude in various skimpy attire super fancy bucket list things with endless love songs that sound good initially but then become the antidote to inane pop philosophy both hot leads are spouting at each other.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'I am used to running away from relationships'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'Let us create a world for ourselves and live in the moment.'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'Sure, I'm Instagramming this moment. What's your handle?'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'I don't Insta.'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'Whaa?!"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I head out for another flat white trying to understand why Hot Dude needs to post videos on Insta when he's given up everything?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And on screen they're scoring 'drugs' stylishly, dancing with lots of 'foreign' hippes, never running out of money. And helping them is the only amazing character in the film: a hippie with dreds: Elli AvrRam. She is Jessie who does her bit spouting Swedish life mantras and carries a magic pouch with an antidote for all 'drug overdoses'. The cops have killed Hot Girl and now Hot Dude wants revenge. But we got this from the trailer and the details are painful to watch. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A story cannot rely only on hot bodies of the lead actors.Nothing they did on screen made them endearing to us. Neither could we root for the cops. They were all just caricatures of bad cops in movies.Even though this film is made rather stylishly, Woohoo to the reveal moment of angel wings tattoo on Hot Dude's back with the rest of the screen burning as he takes off his tank top yet again </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(which is why the lone star). But the writing was cringe worthy. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Kunal Khemu's reasoning for becoming a psychopath is one of those moments: My parents used to fight, mum was in pain. Pain travels through your head and ends up dangling between your legs...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The person next to me demonstrated Nosecola and I sputtered coffee all over the person sitting in front at that confession. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But the worst is the dialog between the two hot leads:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'In life there are two choices: maza or sukoon...Which one will you choose?' </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Alas, this film offered the audience neither. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">P.S. If you are a girl in the movie and want to extract revenge, you must cut your long hair. Then wear hoodie.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This could be a trope. </span><br />
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manisha lakhehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01788008662800072316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10189005.post-91970500077131685922020-01-31T16:26:00.000+05:302020-01-31T16:26:21.464+05:30Review: BAD BOYS FOR LIFE<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Unkle, Ab Bas!</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">1 star</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Mini Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Mike and Marcus who gave us mad buddy cop movies are suddenly old. Not in the movie, but really. No amount of Miami flash is going to help them. In fact, they look like they're part of a Florida retirement home than South Beach hot rods. And the film even more so. It's predictable, and the formula is tired. It's like watching a bad Hindi action film in wearying slow motion.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Main Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The movie starts like 100% action movies do, with a car chase. With Will Smith and Martin Lawrence in the car doing the 'one is speeding and the other is frightened of speed' routine'. We're not told who they're chasing. But then cops are chasing them. That's old as the hills. Then you see that they're driving around the same area again and again. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Aaaaah! Cho Chweet! They drove like that because Martin Lawrence was going to become grandpa. We like our heroes to break rules, but when the cops chasing our heroes don't show up behind them grinning or taking them away in handcuffs as it happens in other movies, we are shown a prison break</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The prison break is really well done. I sit up! This is wow!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But what follows is just a paint by numbers buddy cop action movie.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">1. Buddy cops are estranged because one wants to retire and the other thinks he's invincible.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">2. Invincible cop gets shot. Buddy is retired.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">3. Team chips in, invincible cop takes time to become team player.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">4. More people get shot.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">5. Team has to track one bad guy who makes those 'special bullets'.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">6. Invincible cop botches operation. More people die. Buddy is still retired.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">7. Bosses disband team. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">8. Invincible cop stares at sunset decides to go at it alone.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">9. Buddy cop comes out of retirement.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">10. The team shows up too, for final fight. Good guys win. Bad guys die.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's Abbas Mastan so gaye thay type action, but then there is this awful 'Luke, I am your father!' moment.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Mexican people again are shown to be witches and mumbo jumbo black magic followers. Seriously, Hollywood? Live and Let Die is older than the hills!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">One last thing, is there any Will Smith movie where his face doesn't get swollen up? Ab bas karo unkle.</span><br />
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manisha lakhehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01788008662800072316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10189005.post-77718342104653592302020-01-31T15:46:00.001+05:302020-01-31T15:46:15.064+05:30Review: JAWAANI JAANEMAN<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Stale Fare Not Even Saif Can Save</b>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1.5 stars</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Mini Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Saif Ali Khan is Jassi and he lives it up in London, then learns he's dad. Not only that, he's going to be grandpa too. The movie tries hard to make us feel, make us laugh, but we have seen too many older men pretending to be young irl, and too many movies where hero discovers he's a dad, to be impressed... </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Main Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Unkle In Disco Alert!</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What is more pathetic than an older single man in a club? Bollywood believes he's going to get a PYT to come home with him. I mean seriously? Which world? Even Will Smith in Bad Boys cannot get into a niteclub, but this is Bollywood, where 'Unkles in club' score.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I puked into my popcorn, but it's Saif Ali Khan, so I watched.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He pumps iron, rides a bicycle, gets his hair styled all the time (who colors their hair so much?), wears mid-life crisis clothes and burns his candle on both ends...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Hero Has Daughter Trope</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'You're my daddy,' says the young gal from the disco just as Saif is readying his bachelor pad to seduce her. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tom Cruise in <i>Jack Reacher: Never Go Back</i> goes through the same, and Colin Firth has to face his unknown estranged daughter in <i>What A Girl Wants.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But this is Bollywood. But Saif does this well, and recovers rather well. But that's it. The story just seems to stop here. No more twists, no more turns.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The young girl (decent debut Alaya F) moves in and does what freshly pregnant kids do, puke and create odd situations for her newly discovered dad.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The trouble with these events is that we don't really get emotionally connected to either one of them. Even <i>Mamma Mia,</i> where there are three dads and the young girl doesn't know which one is really the dad, even in that musical, we begin to care about the two young people who are going to get married.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Slow, Stale Train Wreck</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then Tabu shows up. Jangling with jewelry and a ridiculous lad in tow.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If I were Saif, I would have been less kind to a silly lad like that. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now Tabu is a fine actor and of course she tries to do the hippie mom thing. But Colin Firth's hippe marriage in Morocco in What A Girl Wants is far funnier. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yes, there are Saif's parents who vanish conveniently, a crooked real estate deal, and a perhaps love story between Saif and his hair dresser... Terribly tedious all this... Except that Saif really tries to hold it together. Then there's Chunky Pandey who I want to kill because he pretends to have paralysis on getting a heart attack in the most overacted scene in the film. And that overacting gets Saif to make up his mind that he needs family? Ugh!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Baby Saves The Movie</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Saif Ali Khan changing baby diaper and then cooing to the baby is the best thing about the film. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It brought tears to my eyes to see him hold the baby. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">FDFS ka paisaa vasool.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I loved his bathrobe too. Everything else is just eminently forgettable.</span><br />
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manisha lakhehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01788008662800072316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10189005.post-40568704243985030262020-01-24T10:29:00.001+05:302020-01-24T18:34:06.210+05:30Review: PANGA<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Lovely little paint by numbers sports film. </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">2 stars</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Mini Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Happy housewife works at railway office in Bhopal was really India Kabaddi team captain. Now she's looking after seven year old and husband. The child puts the idea of a comeback into her head and she gets back on to the kabaddi court, winning the championship for India. Sounds rather predictable, but director handles the matter gently, and makes for a very sweet watch.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Main Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Story Before The Star</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Dangal this is not. It has humour, but real. No starry 'Look I'm acting se well I have put on weight for the role'. Neither is it Mary Kom, which seems kind of impossible, superwoman homage film, again with a star dominating the story. This is not even trying to be the Indian girls playing football in England movie. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Panga has a star too, and known for taking over the narrative. Kangna Ranaut is a very good actor but she has a reputation, and even before the movie people wondered if this film was going to be as terrible as Manikarnika. I must admit, I was wondering too. Thankfully credit goes both to the director and the star for putting the story before the star.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Kangna plays Jaya Nigam, housewife to Prashant Nigam and a seven year old mouthy boy in Bhopal. She works at the railway ticket counter, her husband is an engineer in the railways too and the boy, who has a delicate constitution goes to school. She kicks her husband in her sleep every night (cute scene), she's organised about her child's medicines and school routine (cute scene), she's also cute with her coworkers. She has sweet neighbors and a crappy boss. who yells at her for being late telling us she is no longer India team captain (cute exposition here!).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Great Ensemble Cast</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The husband Jassie Gill makes for a great debut. He fits in lookswise into the husband's character. He's sweet and accommodating and smiles sweetly and laughs a lot. He's not a teensy bit irritated by his wife's career, supports it, is a good guy... Jeeeeeejuss! Will be a pain to deal with in real life. But in real life most Indian husbands at least behave badly once like Manav Kaul did in Tumhari Sulu.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Then enters a fab, fab character: Meenu. She used to be team-mate with Jaya Nigam and they were best of friends until Jaya gave up her sports career when her child turned out to be weak and needing help (cute reason, because the husband is so sweet already!). Richa Chadda is brilliant as Meenu, coach, friend, confidant and commentator (sootradhar practically)...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Predictable Sports Hero Story</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Hero works hard, fails, gets inspired, fights family and friends and himself and goes on to prove that they really are a hero... In the sports film, right from Rocky days, we've had (Burgess Meredith who plays) Mickey training Rocky to become a hero. Same here. The mouthy child wants mom to 'comeback' so he begins pushing her to exercise first. She then starts dreaming of a comeback too...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yes, this film too has coaches. There are coaches who will use her 'comeback' story to get mileage for women's sports, but at least it is not a sleazy coach who asks for sexual favours. Thankfully Rajesh Tailang is good coach. After all, we need this to be a family film...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But someone tell me one thing, why do all sports film have to show us ALL the matches in detail? From the word 'go' to flag waving after the win? It's plain tedious. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The police detective from Marathi film Saavat is the captain of the India team (Smita Tambe) and is the token villain who calls Jaya out for being the 'bench warmer', 'token PR'. But here I wish the villainy was a little stronger for it to be believable. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There's even a secret move that will fox the opponents clearly mentioned and the whole audience said 'Tiger Chan' when the moment came... I admit most cinema is made for the lowest common denominator, but you cannot be so unsubtle...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But it's so sweet and cute and family friendly, and tantrum free that we like it. Also because they say that this film is dedicated to all mothers who want a second chance... How can you be a monster and not like a film dedicated to moms?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Not me. I like, I really liked it. I'm not being sarcastic here... </span><br />
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manisha lakhehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01788008662800072316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10189005.post-3691670116184101072020-01-24T01:44:00.000+05:302020-01-24T07:48:53.541+05:30Review: STREET DANCER 3 in 3D<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Moonwalk To Disaster!</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">1.5 stars</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Mini Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>The only saving grace for this disaster of a movie is Nora Fatehi's dance moves. Even the super limber Prabhu Deva dancing his 'Mukkala Muquabala' is good, but predictable. That hat thing, the moonwalk... It's not new at all. Even Mr. Earnest - Varun Dhawan - cannot make a movie work when there's no story to hold on to. A dance movie that has nothing new or original...</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Main Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Thakeli Choreography</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I may have two left feet, but I watch just about everything the net and TV has on dance. I bought the laserdisc for Strictly Ballroom way back when there was only Dirty Dancing and Michael Jackson videos to learn from. Every time Step Up and ABCD movies show up on cable I watch them simply because the dances are so good. I was really looking forward to watching something new, but apart from some new moves, I did not want to clap for anything. I mean we have seen the ballerinas dance with a crew before and the Hiplets are famous for dancing to hiphop! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There are movies like High Strung that bring ballet and hip hop and classical music brilliantly. Why can't we steal those? Why steal from obvious dance movies?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Prabhu Deva is fab, but there is nothing new there... I clapped hard simply because everything else is like blah...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Varun Dhawan is very very earnest, but the poor lad has to dance also, act also, be the savior of his family also, and be romantic also, be kind also, be villain also, be guilty also, turn good from bad also... And hold the patchy story together also... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The less said about Shraddha Kapoor the better. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And they gave a fabulous dancer like Nora Fatehi a pathetic role/! She dances like a dream and even twerks mid air... She has the best thighs in the film and... Yes, we saw a whole lots of leg.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Story Nahi, Many Facepalm Moments Put Together With Sticky Tape</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Punjab mein roni mom (Zareen Wahab) has an atee miserable son: Aparshakti Khurana. Just when we spoke about how he's perhaps a better actor than his brother, he overdoes the homeless illegal immigrant sad sack thing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">(They're all supposed to all be on business visas, errrr... To play dholak in UK... What?!)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Pakistani parents just don't know what their daughter (Shraddha Kapoor) is doing... How does one believe that her mother has NEVER gone through her wardrobe and has NEVER seen her dance outfits? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And she eats 'paet bhar' biryani after seeing how hungry illegal immigrants were? After seeing them eat leftover burgers from the restaurant? She should be put off food for ever, no? It's like eating popcorn during Schindler's List...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Varun Dhawan is so sweet, his spray on abs can be forgiven. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The talented dancers from both the Pakistan and Indian group get shafted because they don't get enough screen time. Even the Brit dancers are shown to be thuggish. Dancing releases endorphins, the happiness hormone... why will you be thuggish to dholak wallahs AFTER you have danced to their tune on the street?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Does. Not. Compute.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Varun and his brother (dancing with a broken leg) is a good moment. So is the dancing of a chap named 'Body' (?!) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But all other dances in the infernal dance contest are B.O.R.I.N.G. Dances in ABCD2 were far, far superior.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The question everyone was asking, 'Why is the film in 3D?'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Answer: So dirt, donuts, a hat and one drop of sweat from hip could come at you at four points in the film. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Watching the movie was like watching milk curdle and separate into many stinky bits, slowly...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This is how all of us emerged from this screening: very sad. </span><br />
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<img alt="Related image" src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS2kihhllUifZ8e4t76rwdV886QLIl3MfwMNdo-dh4BQtMh01_O&s" /><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">(image from the net, thank you!)</span></div>
manisha lakhehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01788008662800072316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10189005.post-41738823888255612352020-01-17T13:00:00.000+05:302020-01-17T13:00:39.363+05:30Review: JAI MUMMY DI<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Mummify these mummies!</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">zero star</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Mini Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>It's not a love story, it's not a feud story. It's half an idea and half baked film about two best friends now enemies who have kids who fall in love. The kids cannot act and the two mummyji's overact. The story dies within two minutes and the supposed 105 minutes feels like an aeon because of constant Punjabi drumming. The reveal of this feud will make you barf.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Main Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Faaltu Family Feud</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Two ex best friends live next door to each other and fight over things like 'your maid threw your garbage into my house'. Whaaat? You are expected to laugh at this? This is worse than bad TV. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How did Poonam Dhillon and Supriya Pathak as Lali and Pinky agree to do that scene? Whyyyyyy? How desperate were they to get back on the big screen? Is the writer/director blackmailing these two women? Why else would work in a film like this? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Poonam Dhillon vanishes in the middle of the movie and then appears in the end, and Supriya Pathak offers us a khichdi role of Gujju aunty trying to be Punjabi!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Last week it was Hema Malini in<i> Shimla Mirch,</i> and now these two! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Zero Acting Skills On The Kids</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sunny Singh is great in deadpan roles. He's now being made to emote. NOT possible! His Puneet is so pathetic, I puked in my popcorn.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sonnalli Seygall is Sanjh. And when you look at her non existent acting skills you wonder if they paid the numerologist to change her name for nothing! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When they embrace, and Sanjh cires, 'I can't..' (yes that's the dialog), a helpful fellow critic at the screening commented, 'Act'.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nothing in the story makes us like the two lead characters. So you start wondering why they're wearing a uniforms in college? Or is it a scene that shows bachpan ka pyar? Blah!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Punjabis Only Have Weddings And Parathas</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The movie starts with a wedding, is about the lead characters wanting to get married and are to get married to two other mostly sex starved characters.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This means Lali and Pinky will wear shaadi ke costumes which are so tacky even Sarojini Nagar shops have better clothes. And why would anyone mention 'Karol Bagh' if you live in Rohini? There are at least 7 malls in that part of Delhi. Obviously 'Krol' bagh is mentioned for a cheap laugh. It didn't work. <i>Hindi Medium</i> did a fantastic job of location snobbery in Delhi brilliantly.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Supriya Pathak is shown wearing an apron and making parathas. If a Delhi housewife has a househelp, she will never ever put on an apron and cook. All she will do is sit at the dining table and add that dollop of white makkhan to the paratha.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And not just the two mummy's, everyone's clothes are so tacky. Women in Delhi are great dressers. So when you see Sanjh dancing in college in an ill-fitting dress, you cringe. In fact the whole production design is just tacky. You can see corners cut everywhere. In fact, some mall scenes look so ordinary, they could have been shot anywhere. The Gangour Sweet shop in the movie looks like the one in Juhu in Bombay, Unfortunately I have visited three Gangour sweet shops in Delhi, and the nearest one to Rohini (where the characters live) is in Preet Vihar. To assume no one would care about geography, that's dumb. What's even worse is that 'Gangour' is Rajasthani, and it means Shiva and Parvati. Why would Punjabi Sikhs name their shop Gangour? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But that's neither here nor there.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So back to the wedding opening scene. For some reason, the two mamajis are also enemies. They actually have a scene where both drunk mamajis decide to throw daals at one another at the buffet. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That should be enough indication for anyone to leave the theater. And the horrendous Punjabi wedding band background music that plays all through the film, no matter what the scene.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And am truly sorry for Netflix who bought this film. Let this be a lesson to not buy films from any production house in bulk. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Men Who Think Women Fight Over Them.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you are still mildly curious as to why the two friends are pissed off at one another, am sorry to say the reveal at the end of the film is so sexist, it is appalling. The writer director believes that two women will fight over a man for years once he has dumped both of them (after two timing them with a third).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Are your serious? If a man two times two women, they would probably get together and plot to kill him. That would make for a better plot.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then the director has us believe that Varun Sharma is the sex god young Lali and Pinky are fighting over! And that he grows up to become Alok Nath.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Enough said. Cannot offer even half a star to such trash. 105 minutes should have been fun and games but it feels like an insult to the audience.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">P.S.: You like the Punjabi songs? Listen to them on a free app. This film is a waste of your money</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Even the gawdawful Hulchul did family feud better</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">these mummies</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">105 minutes too long</span></div>
manisha lakhehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01788008662800072316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10189005.post-2477245926436257002020-01-03T14:55:00.000+05:302020-01-03T14:55:23.440+05:30Review: SAB KUSHAL MANGAL<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Funny, Funny Start. Then They Stretch The Joke.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2 stars</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Mini Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Kidnapping a bridegroom is not a new concept. In fact Jabariya Jodi failed terribly. But Akshaye Khanna makes this film about small town 'neta' type 'bahubali' in the business of groomnaping totally funny. But in the second half the joke gets stretched too far and you begin to wish they knew how to leave well enough alone.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Main Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ravi Kissen's daughter Riva Kishen makes a confident debut in the film as Mandira who is unable to get a groom for some reason. I wish they had fleshed out her character a bit more and told us why, with things like f she's educated or what she likes. Simply flouncing about the house and flying kites does not endear us to the lass. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The hero, Pappu Mishra a TV anchor who has hair covering all of his forehead; and his sleepy large eyes makes him look like the sloth from Zootopia with bangs. Alas, Priyaank Sharma's debut is rather lost in trying so hard to be Shah Rukh when romancing the girl. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thankfully there is Akshaye Khanna who is so funny in his Baba Bhandari avatar that we start grinning at the beginning of the film and carry on laughing and giggling until the interval. He has two sidekicks who are very very good. Between the three, they have so much desi swag you can't help but want him to be the hero instead of the silly lad with bangs. Akshaye earns the star for the film.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The other star is the writing. Sparkling and utterly desi, the writing is also very sharp. For example, Baba and his sidekicks enter a dark room where Pappu Mishra has been groomnapped, Baba stops suddenly. The two sidekicks are expecting something incredible from their boss, whenone of them asks, 'What now boss?' </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Baba replies, 'Light!'</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The other sidekick says devotedly, 'Baba is going to throw light on this situation.'</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To which Baba replies, 'No, idiot, I was asking you to turn on the lights.'</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's delivered with so much deadpan, you begin laughing and have to stop because things get funnier.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The bride's family is a good ensemble led by a very restrained Rakesh Bedi, and the groom's family is a very OTT Satish Kaushik and Supriya Pathak. Kudos to them all.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The trouble happens when the writing gets stretched in trying to get everyone to be funny. And the part where Baba tries to turn "metro" goes on and on. They also don't do justice to Baba Bhandari's girlfriend Neelu (or Neelam) played rather well by Yuvika Chaudhary. She shows promise and they should have used her to bring Baba back from that infatuation with the heroine...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The finale is rather silly, but by that time, you have imagined every similar scene and wish for a Jimmy Sheirgill Tanu Weds Manu type scene... I was happy the movie had finally ended. A great idea that is frittered away... But fun while it lasts. </span><br />
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manisha lakhehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01788008662800072316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10189005.post-1325735957037689512020-01-03T12:57:00.001+05:302020-01-03T12:57:05.092+05:30Review: Shimla Mirch<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Blechh! Barf! Overcooked! Off Putting Romance! Hurl! </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">0.5 stars</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Mini Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Rajkummar Rao fancies himself Shah Rukh Khan and fails so bad you wish he'd take out a gun and be the terrorist from Omerta and shoot everyone in the movie. It would help the audience not watch Hema Malini in a ghastly desperate woman role, or the pretty Rakul Preet Singh being pretty vapid... Such an awful film! </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Main Review</i>:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She's not hot at all, no matter how much of her navel we get to gaze at all through the movie. The pretty Rakul Preet Singh gets a role that a young Hema Malini could have carried off in Sholay a hundred years ago: pretty girl, quick to anger, hence Mirchi.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She opens a cafe that looks more like a party shop than any cafe (watering cans, water bottles, fancy cupcake paper, party cups are on the sale shelf behind the cafe counter). There's no food, no customers, but the Captain Uncle who's helping her with the cafe keeps replacing jars of perishable foods on the cafe billing counter. If the cafe is not yet open, what accounts are you maintaining? On the black board a frappe is listed under 'hot beverage' and Turkish coffee that is usually served hot is listed under 'cold beverage'...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why do I spot these useless things? Because the setting is so pointless and ill thought. They could have opened a dhaba and it would still not changed anything with the story. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So Rajkummar Rao becomes Raj Kuthrapalli from The Big Bang Theory - tongue tied in front of a girl. So when cupid's arrow LITERALLY hits him (you cannot miss it because he sings a song about it), he chooses to work at Rakul Preet Singh's fake cafe, to be near her. So they walk all over Shimla becoming friends. And a friend of Rajkummar Rao gives him an idea: write her a love letter. He does, signing it 'secret admirer'.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now Rakul Preet Singh has a mom in the form of Hema Malini, who is so desperate for her husband (Kanwaljeet Singh) who has left her for a younger woman, that she not only cooks on her husband's birthday, but also climbs a tree near his home to get a glimpse. Of course she falls off the tree... And we wonder why we are watching this...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I would rather forget Rakhummar Rao trying to prove he is better than Shah Rukh at romancing! he looks more like a stalker than like a lovelorn lad. Getting advice from 'Aaaooo Lalita' Captain Uncle (Shakti Kapoor) does not help.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Rakul loves her batty mommy and in order to distract her from trolling dad, retypes the 'secret admirer' letter and sends it her mom. Mom suddenly is thrilled and begins preening and even gets a makeover in order to meet her 'admirer'. But that's not bad at all. Except that she gets battier: she tales the letter to all kinds of men in Shimla asking them if they wrote the letter. This gives the director Ramesh Sippy to appear in a cameo as one of the men...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Of course Rajkummar Rao ends up delivering the second 'love letter' and Hema Malini promptly falls in love with him. Rakul requests Rajkummar to pretend he loves mommy back...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Rest is so ghastly, you wish there was a bar you could rush to instead of barfing into your popcorn. You are gagging by the time Rajkummar Rao gets to kiss Rakul Preet Singh in front of his and her family. That's a sight I could have done without. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dharmendra also gets to show up reminding us and Hemaji that she's still hot and he loves her. That appearance wins the half star this film deserves. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">P.S: THE FACT THAT THIS FILM FLAUNTS THAT IT WILL BE ON NETFLIX SOON SHOWS CLEARLY THESE FOLKS AT NETFLIX HAVE MORE MONEY THAN SENSE.</span><br />
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manisha lakhehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01788008662800072316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10189005.post-41643563848566985922020-01-03T10:47:00.002+05:302020-01-03T10:47:45.457+05:30Review: THE GRUDGE<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>The Time Jumps Were The Scariest Part</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1.5 stars</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Mini Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>We get it, we get it, the damned curse does not die. But how many years can 94 minutes try and accommodate? The movie jumps from one year to the next, giving the audience a very hard time to follow a story that is stupidly predictable. And bits that should be scary, are explained off as if they were unimportant.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Main Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don't mind that the curse travels from Tokyo to Pennsylvania. I don't mind that it's always rainy in that town. I don't even mind that it's always night time. I loved the hand coming out of his head when John Cho is in the shower... But we saw all that in the trailer. Does the film offer anything more?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">John Cho's role is a big problem. He has to enter the home which is locked, and he finds a child home alone. That's reason enough to call Child Services. And that's no ordinary nosebleed from the child, it's reason to call 911 and get medical help. And who goes into a bathroom where a child who is not yours is having a bath? It's plain wrong. Wanted to slap his silly face when he entered the child's bathroom. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And then there are other characters in the film. Alas, not even the awesome sauce of Lin Shaye mixed with Jackie Weaver can make our hearts beat faster. These two belong to every horror film, and in this film too they do their best. But each scene with them is so slow, you anticipate everything and more. Take the scene where Jackie goes to the supermarket. There are practically no customers there. and Jackie chooses everything so carefully, you wish hands would appear from behind tin cans, and from between the greens to stop her from picking them. But they choose to make the meat appear old and infested with flies. Blah.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lin Shaye took so long to climb the stairs, you could feel the audience wanting to push her down the stairs.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Every gory thing, from maggot infested corpses looks more like a Halloween decoration than scary. The only interesting thing like the creepy 'live garbage bags' is given only like 30 seconds in the film. Sigh.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Of course, we cannot forget the dumb woman cop - the heroine - who insists on reading files, taking them home, generally disobeying orders, so you have no empathy for her. We know by now that horror won't happen unless someone is obsessed with the 'happenings'. But her actions are so self-defeating, and when she's haunted, you begin to take sides with the Grudge. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And that's the problem with this film. We don't care for the characters in the film. Unlike The Conjuring, where you began to care for the family who were haunted for no fault of theirs, here, everyone seems to deserve to die. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Completely missable unscary fare. Not a nice start to the new year!</span><br />
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manisha lakhehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01788008662800072316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10189005.post-50837823655393179652019-12-27T19:25:00.002+05:302019-12-27T19:25:28.712+05:30Review: GOOD NEWWZ<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Thoda Funny, Thoda Tacky, Aur Bahut Misleading...</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1.5 stars</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Mini Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Since when do doctors play anti abortionists? Which doctor in their right mind says, 'See your baby's tiny heart is beating, and you want to kill it?' Especially if it is a baby created by your mistake? Who advises against adoptions? There are so many things wrong with this film you cringe when the very obvious lifestyle jokes are cracked.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Last I heard, abortion was a woman's right in this country. No doctor will tell the patient against going through with the procedure by pointing out to a 'beating heart' and emotionally blackmail a patient from going through with the procedure. And more so in this case, because the psychological trauma is caused by a 'mistake' of the doctor! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So at this fancy-ass fertility center, the fancy-ass doctor suggests to the obviously stressed out fancy ass patients Akshay Kumar and Kareena Kapoor Khan to undergo the IVF. They agree because they've tried everything else from having sex during ovulation to saying 'no' to mumbo jumbo babajis.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(Having been through a similar push from family, I think it was a wasted opportunity for the filmmakers to have ignored the 'babaji ka chooran', 'mannat maangi hai' humor, which is way better than the tacky, 'Holi ke din paida hua so the baby's name is Holaraam', and fatty aunties insisting that now it's time to become fat. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Which world are the filmmakers living in? How is that funny? Today young women are thinking of having babies because they can buy the Armani baby bag and go for baby and mommy yoga, and even show off their hot mommy bods because they went to a 'mommy moon'... That would have a funnier trope to explore than what we saw...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The other set of Batras are rich too, but they're not fancy, they live in Chandigarh in a bungalow with a pool, but they're loud - they wear matching leisurewear, in sequinned velvet - and they sing zumba songs in the gym. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I actually liked this pair of Batras, even though you are supposed to like the Bombay Batras. Diljit Dosanjh and Kiara Advani make for a lovely pair what with 'mata rani's blessings' and living with mummyji who heard from this auntyji who heard about the pregnancy from that auntyji whose daughter works in the doctor's office.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There is a problem here: If Diljit and Kiara went to the Chandigarh branch of the fertility center, and Akshay and Kareena in Bombay, how on Earth did the sperm get mixed up? I chopped off two stars from five here...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Obviously no research was done here because rich couple go stay at the baby resort where couples who want babies live and eat and breathe and dream about having babies (they have everything from meditation and massage for harassed husbands and pink and blue fluffy rooms of love for wives) the whole thing is hormonal...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A mix up of sperms in real life would mean a cancellation of the doctor's licence anywhere in the world! The moral consequences aren't exactly nice... But first, which doctor is ever going to admit that it's their mistake? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As the movie progresses, the Bombay Batras and Chandigarh Batras become neighbors, Akshay Kumar continues to be a horrid man, unable to connect with a baby growing inside his wife because it is not his sperm. This prompts a rant from Kareena who looks so lovely you forget the big mistake in this speech. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She says, 'You don't know the pain we got through at childbirth!' </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What?! She's yet to give birth. How does she know pain? Besides, had they done a little research, they would have come across a word called the 'epidural'! It's the injection that eases the pain of childbirth.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So I wiped my moist eyes and ended up rolling them at Akshay Kumar suddenly smoking pot inside the house (I guess the humor was so thin they needed him to smoke up in order to laugh hysterically! Since when do potheads behave hysterically? Chop one star off for this pathetic, un-researched idea).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Of course the babies are born and everything is happy happy joy joy, but not before Akshay Kumar is rude to his parents while getting into the car enroute to the hospital... That much awfulness needs to get a kick in his arse, and half a star chopped off. This was just not necessary.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But there are three awesome things about this film: </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">one: Kareena Kapoor, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">two: one really funny line, and </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Three: A lovely cinematic moment.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Kareena is simply lovely. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then there's a super funny line when Akshay Kumar sees giant baby pictures in the clinic and comments, 'Why do clinics show white babies?' </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The third is the lovely moment, the look the two women share when eating paani puri...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It would have been fun if families descended en masse on the two Batras and everyone wanted a hand in 'Bringing up Baby'... But the filmmakers did not take even half a leaf out of Steve Martin... Even better had they thought up of baby gift registry, or internet domain names for the babies or started an Instagram account for their babies... But that would mean research, and having women on your team who have been there, done that...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you see lots of stars flying about, don't be fooled. These are the same people who loved the pathetic Bhai starrer recently released... Watch it for the limpid, glowing Kareena. </span><br />
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manisha lakhehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01788008662800072316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10189005.post-33989368188564832362019-12-20T20:05:00.001+05:302019-12-20T20:05:26.423+05:30Review: Dabanngg 3<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>The Slower Than Sloth Film. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Ek Ghante Ki Story, Kheench Ke Dhai Ghante Ki Banai.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Stars? </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Iss Baar Bore Kar Diya Chulbul!</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Mini Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Remember Raymond S. Persi, the sloth from the DMV in Zootopia? How exasperation inducing his slow motion is, no? Now imagine it in the film. Every other minute. Chulbul is slow, the bad guy Balli Singh is slow, action is slow, the romance is slow, deaths are slow, explosions are slow, even the dancing is slow. The story is as old as the hills, and not even this fan girl of Chulbul Pandey can justify liking this painful boring film.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Main Review:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Prabhudeva Ab Thakela Hai</b> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Once upon a time , when you said 'Prabhudeva', you expected super dance moves, and mad action. And when he makes an appearance on the screen, you cheered his dance moves... Alas, those days are gone.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He's directed other action films from Wanted to Rowdy Rajkumar and even Pokkiri. Remember the basketball court scene in Pokkiri? Where Vijay says, 'Both the gun and the girl are mine!' Pure action even when the bad cop and the hero are simply threatening one another. But that was good Prabhudeva. In this film, we got the thakela version... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In this film the villain threatens hero, but the writing is tired and the only trick Prabhudeva uses is slow motion. No surprises, just slow threats,'ek taraf maa hai, doosri taraf ladki. Kisko pehle bachayega?' Blah! Batman had to make this choice years ago...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You get so bored of the slow motion, you don't feel like cheering when Prabhudeva shows up in a dance scene. And yes, he's still Micheal Jacksoning. Meh!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And he uses the same sound as Ramesh Sippy did in 1975 for Gabbar. Come on! Kichha Sudeep is good, but he's not Gabbar! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Salman Khan, Needs Better Dialog, Better Action</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Computer generated muscles on Salman Khan are a sad thing to see but I'm a fan and I still think he looks terrific in formal shirts that he wears in the movies. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I think he's sweet when he giggles as his girl hugs him, or offers him chocolate, or when he ogles his own wife in the shaving mirror. He's funny when he realises it was his mum not the mean aunt he sent off on the train. And yes, he can still dance! But there's no song that's memorable. Not even, 'Munna Badnam Hua!' And I don't remember the words to the song which happily talks of 'set wet hair gel' in a product placement way.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He is great in the action scenes and even though I know they are unreal, they are enjoyable. But why has suddenly action turned into Gore?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oh yes, instead of the pecs twitching this time he's made to twitch his butt. I love Salman Khan, but even I don't want to see him twitch buttcheeks to music.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Kiccha Sudeep Whyy Are You The Bad Guy?</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">From Veer Madakari to this? From fighting the spook in Phoonk to burying girls in this film? I mean Sudeep's Kannada films like Huchcha and even Swati Muthu show his acting chops, but here? It's a good casting but he doesn't come across as someone who would be raping girls and burying them in the rose garden. It's just a terrible trope added in because it will make him look scary. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He makes for a pathetic villain even though he gets the sneers and the cruelty right. He's too well dressed to be in the open pit mine. He just looks out of place in small town politics.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The story is confusing. The bad guy lives in a Rajasthani palace, and is rich because he supplies girls to the rich guys. He keeps smelling cigarettes as though they're something special, and chews on toothpicks (he gave up tobacco or something?). Why he runs someone down we don't know but he meets Salman's first girlfriend by staging a knockdown... Totally stupid, couldn't he just have rushed to save the guy and made friends with the nosepin girl?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Single Expression Nosepin Girl Saiee Manjrekar</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The tepidest debut ever as a girl who wants to be a doctor and is never shown to study or take an entrance exam to become one... But wait, this is a Salman film. Who cares about details like that? Isn't it enough that she does innocent things like give him a chocolate as 'Shagun', shakes her head when Salman pretends to smoke and gives him a rudraksh beads 'mala' as a gift. Plus she talks like she's searching for words in her empty head. In fact she's so slow, I got up, left the theater, got coffee and came back in and sat down, and she was still saying, 'Thank you for paying for my admission and four year ka medical college fees, Chulbul.'</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was so happy she dies. Tsk. They show it in the trailer naaaa! And that's why the gorgeous Sonakshi Sinha becomes the wife...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thankfully Chulbul married the fiesty Rajjo and not the silly nosepin girl.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Sonakshi Sinha. How Cool is she?!</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'Pyaar se dar lagta hai sahab' has now turned into this cooking diva who looks simply awesome. Some sarees she's made to wear are so loud, you begin to understand why Chulbul wears sunglasses at all times. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She used to be fiery, and if you've seen Akira, you know she can be feisty. But she's suddenly the bharatiya nari and perfect heroine who cooks and screams for help and snivels 'kasam hai' type of stuff even though there is one scene where she beats up some chap and lectures him about wasting water...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But then you realise that this film is so stuck in a time warp where the heroines have to damsels in distress... I wish wholeheartedly that this gorgeous woman would choose better films.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Chulbul is Dabanngg and Rajjo is his sexy and sassy wife, how do they produce such a stupid kid? He's old enough to wash his own butt but won't. What is that? Makkhi is there, and his role is so transparent, you don't buy the 'sautela bhai' shtick at all. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are some big bad South Indian baddies (don't ask why they're in Rajasthan!) who get beat up, there are men in cop uniform who get beaten up because they're bad... and so on... Poor Dimple Kapadia has to be mom and agree with soon to die masi who says, 'Jaisa Naam, waisa hee chehra'...Or is it, 'Jaisa chehra, waisa hee nature' something...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The songs are blah. The dances even more dull. And as a fan of Salman Khan, I feel cheated. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As I said, all this is mish-mashed together and is presented in slow motion again and again and again... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Such an exhausting morning. But there was a young man sitting in front of me who laughed whenever Chulbul Pandey put his glasses on or giggled or was backlit for 'hero entry'... Perhaps there is an audience for this... </span><br />
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manisha lakhehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01788008662800072316noreply@blogger.com0