Review: MISSING

MISSING nahi MISTAKE

Zero stars

Mini Review:

Sushant Dubey and Aparna Dubey check into a Mauritian

resort late night with their very unwell daughter Titli. By the

morning, the child is missing. Everything literally begins to

unravel as you watch cringeworthy hamming from greats like

Tabu and Manoj Bajpayee. To add to the mess Annu Kapoor

shows up as a cop overacting as always.

It’s been touted as a ‘murder-mystery’, because they

murdered cinema and it will be a mystery why these good

actors chose to ‘act’ in this film.

Main Review:

What a great cast! Manoj Bajpayee and Tabu! You don't want to

remember their earlier films together which were nothing but d

isastrous: Gaath and Dil Pe Mat le Yaar (both released in the

year 2000). Unfortunately, this time too the duo simply fails to

deliver.

How they ham! Sushant Dubey (Manoj Bajpayee) tries really

hard to be sleazy to the receptionist at the hotel, staring at her

cleavage. He just does such a terrible job of it, and looks so

uncomfortable saying things like, ‘My wife and daughter will

leave in the morning, do you think I will need a single room?’

Aparna Dubey (Tabu) is made to carry a blanket stuffed with

pillows that does not remotely look like a child. Effort from the

production team is zilch. Movies of the seventies and eighties

made more effort when they showed bodies going over a cliff

than shown here. It’s obvious that there is no child.

You don’t even wish to groan about very obvious inaccuracies:

the child is three years old, and Tabu is carrying baby diapers for

her, and you are alarmed at the pills! Most pediatricians prescribe

syrups to babies and toddlers and not pills!

There is a brief moment where you are forced to watch a

love-making scene between the Dubeys and you know they are

unhappy doing what they are made to do. Thankfully their roll in

the bed is fuzzed out of focus.

The child is missing by the morning. We discover many things

about Sushant and Tabu and how they met. What you don’t

understand are Tabu’s motives for anything she does and

Sushant’s either. If your met someone, and they carried a meat

chopper in a baby’s diaper bag, you would put as much distance

between you as it was possible, no? Maybe that is the mystery.

Alas, it is for Inspector Buddhu (Annu Kapoor who was last seen

hamming it in Baaa Baa Black Sheep) and his Tweedledee and

Tweedledum cop duo assistants who have to solve the mystery

of the missing kid. Their supposed Shenanigans are so tedious,

you are too exhausted to ask the writer director how he managed

to sell such tiresomeness to the production house?

Perhaps Tabu’s face has undergone some reengineering (the

stars are in the business of looking good, so we’re not

complaining!) and that is why she looks odd initially, but then

everything she says is either shrill or vapid, you begin to look out

for scenes with Tweedledee and Tweedledum. You also ignore

the red light on Tabu's microphone showing from the back pocket

of her jeans, the production quality is that terrible.

Of course, not one police officer bothers to check or even

confiscate Manoj Bajpayee’s cell phone to corroborate the stories

he’s telling. The background music tries really hard to create

some sort of ambience but ends up being super annoying. Even

worse is Annu Kapoor speaking Hindi in a Bihari accent and even

speaking French (so grating to the ears!) to prove that he is

indeed Mauritian.

When the final reveal happens, you are just too bored to react.

You want to curse in French at the movie:

C’est vraiment des conneries!      

(this review appears on nowrunning dot com)