review: SAAT UCHAAKEY

A Heist Movie Drowned In Gaalis

½ star

Mini Review:

Fed of poverty and his inability to provide his girl with nice things, a small time crook plans a heist. And yes, it goes wrong. In fact, everything from the language that is used in the film is wrong. It’s a mystery how the Censor Board allows the word, ‘Kutiya’ (bitch) being used again and again to describe the girlfriend! This film should go wash it’s mouth with soap.

Main Review:

So suburban Delhi has people who use swear words as if they were going out of style. They also have names like Haggu (literally, Shitter). Of course they don’t have jobs. Their skills include picking locks, conning tourists and oe even claims to be a lawyer.

If you’re not balking and gasping at the air turned blue by the vituperative, you will certainly puke into the popcorn when you see the lovemaking between the small time crook (played by Manoj Bajpayee in a ghastly Beatle mop top) and his girl. Their kisses should be shown to curb population explosion. And to top it all, he calls her, ‘Kutiya’ again and again in such a misogynistic manner you wish to leave the theatre.

Isn’t it the responsibility of a respected actor to refuse to say dialog demeaning women? Even if they play a part of a lowbrow crook? To hear Manoj Bajpayee say these words is just horrifying. Vijay Raaz who is usually a great character actor plays the part of a shady lawyer and his vocabulary is plain stinky. Annu Kapur plays a bizarre madman with hypnotic abilities.

When you figure out where the film is going without wincing over gaalis, it promises to be fun. Kay Kay Menon is a cop who is attracted to the same girl, and his reaction to her is so hilarious you think that you might just like the film. Alas, it doesn’t last. Because Anupam Kher shows up as a trigger happy owner of a haveli who has lost his marbles. It’s a torture to see him play the near blind guy with a gun again (and you don’t care enough to find out where he plays the role)

So they plan to steal the supposed gold in the safe in the haveli (an old woman screams and screams about it). And the sneaking into the haveli at night and getting to the hidden treasure takes so long, you want the film to be a part of training material for torture of prisoners.

You don’t really want to know what happens, except you know you will run a mile in the opposite direction to small budget film set in gallis in any city North of the Vindhyas about ‘quirky’ characters trying to make a quick buck.