Saturday, October 08, 2016

Review: MSG: THE LIONHEART


This is not a movie, it's a TV show.

(there's only one star in this show)

Mini Review:

The one and only Dr. Sant Gurmeet Ram Raheem Singh Ji Insan is back! This time to save the Earth from aliens. This time there's less preaching and extolling the work he is doing, but a telling us how he's a descendant of the Pandavas. This time he's a saviour to Dharti mata and all behne'. And this time he has alien-decimating weapons from Mahabharata. Okay then! It fits in well with current mythological TV shows...

Main Review:

MSG is more superhero Sherdil than Godman in this film. And it's a good thing, because the first two movies he has made put off a whole section of urban audiences unfamiliar with the phenomenon he is among the folk up North. 

He has the coolest gadget since Ironman's suit came out of a suitcase. He has a wheel appear out of what looks like a pocket square and it just morphs into a gigantic motorbike which he rides across to the police HQ where it morphs right back into a red bag perfect for a kindle. Then during the briefing about aliens attacking Earth, he taps the red bag open and it turns into a laptop! Even Ironman cannot compete with that!

The fact that the motorbike could have been a speed monster, but looks like it was put together in a prop shop does not faze the filmmakers at all. Because they introduce 'udan tashtari' riding aliens.

The fun begins here. The aliens are all wearing costumes that remind you of the bulb lit jacket of Amitabh Bachchan in Yarana 'Saara zamana...' 

The alien leader announces that they are going to rape all women so that humans can be wiped out from the Earth. The speech sounds fine until we see what they do to the people with their death rays: they turn everyone 'paagal'. You see a whole bunch of extras really letting themselves act all the 'paagalpan' out. Imagine nations turning crazy...

Now Sherdil leaps into the air to intercept the low-flying udan tashtaris but gets zapped by a death ray. Damn! You think all is lost, but he is saved by a white bearded sage (played by none other than Dr. Sant Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh Ji Insan in a white wig and white beard). 

The old man tells an injured Sherdil, 'You are the descendant of the Pandavas who hid their divine weapons in a magic cave. Collect those and fight the aliens.'

The film just becomes awful after this, worse than perhaps the mythological Tv series we see. But Sherdil says, 'Hmmm!' and shakes his head to say, 'I know you are mayavi, but I will fight you.'

He fights with such bad computer designed monsters (one has a lizard head but turns out to be snake with T-rex type body and limbs, another has a half robotic, half stone body). You want to fast forward the movie, but then you'd miss fairies, yes, fairies, with wings, white dresses and all, who give Sherdil vardaans - the divine weapons - so he can kill the aliens.

Meanwhile, the population all the countries has gone nuts and the kings have been enslaved by the aliens. Wait! Weren't they going to rape all the women? What are they doing with the kings? Don't ask.

The aliens die, Sherdil forgives one, he leaves. People are cured and Sherdil becomes Dharti Rakshak. 

Oh yes, he has these two sisters Saugaat and Saugandh who add to his domestic charm where his wife and children miss his company... 

But the movie has taken so long to tell us the story and we still have aliens who have arrived in 2016 to deal with. Thankfully the modern day gadget guru sells a scooter (what?!) and a title card warns you that 'Hum Phir Yuddh Karenge!'

You make your escape while you can.


P.S. Why did Pandavas need alien-decimating weapons during the Mahabharata? 





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