Tuesday, September 22, 2020

Venting about Dolly Kitty Aur Woh Chamakte Sitare

 

A movie about women my arse! This movie should have been called:

Another OTT Movie about women empowered by smoking, drinking and taking off their inhibitions at the delivery of food.

Pretentious shit about small town again. 

I am rather benign when it comes to 'hating'. I have started looking at bad stories like how people look at dog poo on the street when they're out for an errand. You see it, you step away from it and then think thoughts like, 'What idiots! When will they learn to pick up after their dog? I wish there were police drones who could spot them ask them to be responsible!'

But here we are! Netflix's original Indian content, (and most OTT platforms want only content from 'famous' or 'known names') touted on many media sites as how amazing these stories are going to be... 

this is the tralier: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=as3YLG5DmL0

the sister who says, 'kuch bhi ho, hum hain tumhare liye,' is the one who drags the other by the arm and calls her 'Kulta' and 'kulakshini'! 

It could have been two sisters competing, it's not even that! it's just a hotch potch. 'Drink hai kya?' and idle, 'Women need a lonely hearts club too.'

It's a woman director so she must be right, right?

Wrong. 

Dolly is a woman is so class conscious, she pretends she is moving to a better home, a home with AC, jaguar fittings, she has even lied about her need to work at office that 'she's only working as a hobby'.  HOW do i reconcile with the fact that she is going to make out with a delivery guy? 

Most people do not have more than necessary conversation with delivery/service people. They say thank you if they are well brought up, but beyond that no one gets talking to the delivery guys. I can get that she asks the delivery guy to come inside because he's late and he helps with the food, but I doubt she will flirt with him readily. the delivery guy may even call her 'mataji' since she's in the greater delhi area, and she could take objection to that, but no matter what these so-called writers from small town insist, women do not want to have sex with sweaty plumbers, electricians, drivers and delivery boys  Or do they? 

Kitty has enough spunk to stand up for herself in the chappal factory, but begins to cry buckets in the romance app job. Did anyone force her to choose that job? Could she not have stitched petticoats and blouses like Bollywood film heroines of yesteryear or sold her body like in Pradeep Sarkar's laaga Chunari Mein Daag...

The only honest moment in their relationship is when Kitty tells her Dollydi that Jiju was trying to feel me up, Dolly does not believe it. Or pretends it didn't happen.

Aamir Bashir the husband, the two sons, Konkona's delivery boy lover, Konkona's boss, Kitty's lover Pradeep, Kitty's friend's DJ lover, DJ's brother and his entire Hindu gang are all the important male characters in the film. ALL are flawed and bad. 

Konkona's kids: the older boy is ready to tell tales about how mother ordered food and is passing it off as her own cooking, will tell tales on his mom after he overhears her with the delivery boy. The second son wants to play with dolls, hence is a problem and is gay. So he is beaten up...

The boss expects Konkona to make them tea.

The builder's man is out to cheat Konkona out of a dream home.

Konkona's delivery boy is a virgin, happy to bend rules to make her happy. 

Kitty's lover Pradeep has cheated on his wife, but needs a 'virgin' Kitty to ask him if he has a condom. If Kitty is that innocent, then she should just have been some ingenue who has been taken advantage of by a creep, no?

Even the DJ who when making out with his gal, is looking at Kitty...

Is there any reason to want to see these stupid characters?

I wish the director had created a story of the two sisters - and you might say that it is their story obliquely - but there are too many distractions for us to want either of them to be redeemed. 

And when you don't care what happens to the characters, that's cinema sin. 

I am sure there are small town stories that don't need women to swear, drink or have sex to prove that they have been empowered.

For god's sake, we had Nargis shoot her wayward son years and years ago and we call her Mother India. Netflix Africa has made Queen Sono a story about a female spy. We are still crying over cheating boyfriends and husbands who call in to have phone sex. Netflix Latin America is making Control Z, a program about high school teens affected by rumor mill on their whatsapp...We pair a frigid housewife with a virgin delivery boy! 

Sigh.

I know I am looking forward to watching Laxmmi Bomb on DisneyPlusHotstar but I had better treat all Indian content like dog poop until someone else tells me that it's not shiite. 

Someone please tell the men and women taking these decisions on Netflix and Amazon Prime Video that it's not necessary that Bollywood stars can deliver good OTT content. Sitare chamak nahi rahe, fuse ho gaye hain.