Friday, January 19, 2018



1.5 stars

Mini Review:

It's Liam Neeson. So you'll love everything about him. But then he gets on the same train you've seen in so many movies. And you know something is going to go wrong. It does. And like Harrison Ford who throws terrorists from his Air Force One, Liam Neeson will save the innocent from the baddies who seem to have the eyes on him... It's been done to death, and Liam Neeson's earnest 'good guy who has a background of violence' cannot save this film.

Main Review:

How many train movies have you seen? From Gone Girl you watched recently, the train films are everything from Taking Of Pelham 123 to Great Train Robbery back when the movies were just being made, you have watched everything. Even Steven Seagal has a movie where he saves the world by killing all the terrorists on a train with some activated nuclear device...

So when they show you Liam Neeson taking the train every day, you know something bad is going to happen on the train. It does. And he gives it his all. But the CGI is so thoughtless and tacky, Jaani Dushman: Ek Anokhi Kahani had better sfx...

The mad walk up and down the train that Liam Neeson does drove me crazy. I started counted the number of compartments and then did the count of 'does he really go up and down the entire train'. It just got boring. I wanted him to say, 'Release the Kraken!' just to help us get over the scanning travelers...

The passengers are all initially boring. They try really hard to be suspicious the moment the hero begins to search for the person with a stolen bag. This transformation is accompanied by music that seems to come from a generic music bank marked: action film where villains have surrounded the hero. 

Yes, people get thrown out of the train, there is broken glass, there are frightened people, there are red herrings where we think this could be the bad guy and turns out to be creepy but not the person...

It goes on and on and the story gets more unbelievable. You just sigh when you realise who the bad guys are and are actually relieved that the film is over.

You know you have to wait for the film to be shown on your tv when critics yawn audibly and yawn some more at the screening. 

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