Review: WAJAH TUM HO

WAJAH JO BHI HO HO HO HEE HEE HEE HA HA HA!

½ star

Mini Review:

A hacker accesses the satellite feed of a TV company and posts a live murder feed on their news channel. Then another one. The police led by Kabir Deshmukh question the owner of the TV network but discover that the puzzle is like an onion with many layers. Alas it’s only the lead characters that seem to be peeling off clothes and adding to unintentional hilarity.

Main Review:

What can you say to a movie where the lead characters are described as ‘Media Mugal’ (their enunciation. They meant ‘Moghul’) and Real-Estate Magnet (they meant ‘Magnate’, I think)?

What can you say about a movie where the lawyer for the prosecution and defence are boyfriend and girlfriend? Who cares about recusing themselves because it might be illegal to co-habit when defending two opposing teams?

What can you say about the police officer who threatens the suspect saying, ‘I have a service revolver with as many bullets as I want, and I can fire it whenever I wish!’

Well, the media mughal Rahul Oberoi (played by a mostly exasperated Rajneesh Duggal) is dragged to the police headquarters to answer why a police inspector was killed on his news channel ‘live’. The lawyer for the channel, Sia (played by Sana Khan) and their tech head Mak or Makrand Moghe co-operate with the police to show how their satellite feed was hacked by a clever hacker. But the cops are having none of it. Their counsel for the prosecution (Gurmeet Choudhary of the Raam fame, definitely miles away from ‘God’ he played on TV) insists the culprit is Rahul Oberoi. Wait a minute, you say, weren’t these opposing counsel doing the Horizontal Mamba a couple of minutes ago, singing a badly remixed ‘Pal pal dil ke paas’? How is this even legal? But then the police officer in charge of the case Kabir Deshmukh (Sharman Joshi and his weird biceps and even weirder Sanjay Dutt in Vaastav style slicked back hair) offers the most hilariously written dialog with a stern face causing so much laughter, you miss the all kinds of police-work when he drives his sidekick Gaitonde all over the city, and even reads police reports and court work in English (Mumbai Police meticulously write down every report in Marathi!).

Of course, the real estate magnate, a poor lad who has but two spoken lines is killed brutally by drowning (online almost again!). We begin to wonder why the lad’s screams (he’s already inside a box slowly filling up with water) have been are stifled by a fetish ball gag. Because the film has no logic, we are suddenly subjected to more skin baring song filled with strange angled shots that make Sherlyn Chopra’s breasts look gravity defiant. Anyway, you see the end a mile away when life saving medicines are carelessly kept… But the characters are still to tell us why the film is called ‘Wajah Tum Ho’ (You are the reason).

In a terrible climax, the real villain and the heroine fight with arms and legs and knife throwing and knife pulling out of palm and kicking and punching like it were suddenly a Chinese Kung Fu flick. When the villain throws the heroine against a glass wall, and while she waits to recover from that, the police officer shows up, loses the gun in a fight with the villain, gets beaten up and then before we clap (hoping no more bad dialog from him!), the heroine uses the police revolver to shoot the bad guy dead.

Yes, yes, you get to know why the villain is ‘Wajah’ for all these killings. But it is as the heroine says in court, everything in the film is ‘Baseless, logicless and abstract’. You laugh at the police officer’s dialog, you cringe at the skin show, you shake your head at the stupidity of such films and you come away at the needlessness of such films.





(this review appears on nowrunning dot com)