honest effort!

how unfortunate can one get!
step in front of a bus,
its brakes are working fine.
no nudge, no fall.
only angry commuters,
and muddy clothes.
death would have been
a mere hiccup
in their everyday lives.

step out on the ledge.
realize one is not wearing
matching underwear,
so step back in.
malt is borrowed courage,
but doesn't drown
ingrained Cosmo rules.

walk beside the churning seas,
with an intent to walk into them
and never look back.
but self styled baywatch bhais,
drag me out, wet,
and my hair is so fucked!
oil streaks, sand and beach debris.

see, it was easy enough to
destroy my words
that go with my name,
the delete key proved very handy.
but you want silence,
complete silence.
but each time i close my eyes
i feel your arms around me,
and my plans are postponed
for the next moment without you.

i'm trying, i'm trying hard
(cross my heart!)
to give you the silence you asked.
just that damned love keeps
getting in the way.