Review: THE GRUDGE

The Time Jumps Were The Scariest Part


1.5 stars

Mini Review:

We get it, we get it, the damned curse does not die. But how many years can 94 minutes try and accommodate? The movie jumps from one year to the next, giving the audience a very hard time to follow a story that is stupidly predictable. And bits that should be scary, are explained off as if they were unimportant.

Main Review:

I don't mind that the curse travels from Tokyo to Pennsylvania. I don't mind that it's always rainy in that town. I don't even mind that it's always night time. I loved the hand coming out of his head when John Cho is in the shower... But we saw all that in the trailer. Does the film offer anything more?

John Cho's role is a big problem. He has to enter the home which is locked, and he finds a child home alone. That's reason enough to call Child Services. And that's no ordinary nosebleed from the child, it's reason to call 911 and get medical help. And who goes into a bathroom where a child who is not yours is having a bath? It's plain wrong. Wanted to slap his silly face when he entered the child's bathroom. 

And then there are other characters in the film. Alas, not even the awesome sauce of Lin Shaye mixed with Jackie Weaver can make our hearts beat faster. These two belong to every horror film, and in this film too they do their best. But each scene with them is so slow, you anticipate everything and more. Take the scene where Jackie goes to the supermarket. There are practically no customers there. and Jackie chooses everything so carefully, you wish hands would appear from behind tin cans, and from between the greens to stop her from picking them. But they choose to make the meat appear old and infested with flies. Blah.

Lin Shaye took so long to climb the stairs, you could feel the audience wanting to push her down the stairs.

Every gory thing, from maggot infested corpses looks more like a Halloween decoration than scary. The only interesting thing like the creepy 'live garbage bags' is given only like 30 seconds in the film. Sigh.

Of course, we cannot forget the dumb woman cop - the heroine - who insists on reading files, taking them home, generally disobeying orders, so you have no empathy for her. We know by now that horror won't happen unless someone is obsessed with the 'happenings'. But her actions are so self-defeating, and when she's haunted, you begin to take sides with the Grudge. 

And that's the problem with this film. We don't care for the characters in the film. Unlike The Conjuring, where you began to care for the family who were haunted for no fault of theirs, here, everyone seems to deserve to die.  

Completely missable unscary fare. Not a nice start to the new year!