Review: SPECTRE

'I Thought You Came Here To Die!'
'It's a matter of Perspective.'

3 stars


Mini Review:

'If James Bond doesn't get to seduce the women, who will?' my mum said when she heard that the idiotic Indian Censor Board asked Sony Pictures to cut the kisses from this awesome new movie. But they could not take away the innate sexiness from the man. The action is super too. Good weekend watch!

Main Review:

One of the bad guys in the movie is called 'C' and I hope Nirlajj Pahlani (the right honorable Varun Grover of Masaan fame coined the name!) feels like the letter (it connects to the 'arse' in hindi) is branded on his forehead. 

Cutting the kisses from a Bond movie is so asinine, and it shows. Wonder how Sunny Leone's Ek Paheli Leela slipped through. Maybe Nirlajj ji was salivating too much...

But no matter what our arse-licking Censor does, Bond emerges hotter than ever. He wears his suits so well: large checks in Mexico, black in london, dusty brown in Tangiers and Morocco and a Uniclo type padded jacket in Austria... He is simply delish. And don't forget, he is perhaps the only man who has been able to carry a horizontal striped suit! (Yes, he does!)

He even looks awesome standing at the window, waiting for Moneypenny in his apartment. And talking to a mouse...

Why am I not mentioning the gorgeous Tom Ford Snowden 05B ($227 only) sunglasses? 

Because they are a cover for not-so-great a story. Especially because we have seen and heard and read so much from Assange to Snowden, this global surveillance is not as menacing as say the baddies from Live and Let Die, or Goldfinger even...

This story is personal, and you feel for M who wears his frustration well.

'If you don't know where James, is, I'll have you...'

But James is filling up the screen with excitement wherever he goes. Helicopters, trains, cars and airplanes... He makes us all part of the action. Mr. Hinx is powerful and creepy all right, but Jaws from Spy Who Loved Me and Oddjob from Goldfinger were scarier.

And the song! The song! Why does a man sing the song? Where are the husky voiced seductive songstresses?

Oh! They probably anticipated Nirlajj Pahlani's objection to sexy voices and asked Sam Smith to sing...

I wish there was more of Monica Bellucci in the movie. Literally and storywise too... She disappears from Rome all too soon.

The action set pieces -- and you will hear every critic mention the phrase -- are stupendous. The end is a bit tame. My mum said, 'The Inglorious Basterds wallah baddie should have been a little meaner, no? Why drill only little pinholes in someone's head? '

I looked at my mum in alarm.

Have hid the Black & Decker drill set after coming back home. Tonight I sleep with the door locked. You go book your tickets to Bond!



P.S. I don't wish to sound like a show-off, but boss, finding a traffic-free road in Rome was too unbelievable. Even a lame (in comparison) comedy movie SPY got the traffic is Rome right...