Review: JAZBAA

JAZBAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!


1 reluctant star


Mini Review:

Everything about the movie is overdone: the color, the dialog, the background score, the acting... You need to have an active imagination in order to enjoy this green goop.

Main Review:

The one star of bravery is to be shared between Aishwarya Rai and Irrfan Khan for agreeing to act in this stupid courtroom-kidnap goop.

That said, let me confess. I thoroughly enjoyed the movie.

Each time Aishwarya 'acted' with her eyes glaring, staring, glaring, staring , I imagined her training hard before the movie. Except that the audience helped by doing the 'rolling your eyes' part of the gruelling exercises.

I got much practice of the 'roll your eyes' routine. Looks like they must have whipped the screenwriter if there wasn't a dhaansu dialog about everything.

'Just as he did his zindagi, Dad also liked to feel the coffee with his naked fingers, naa?' 

(I'm giving up coffee,now!)

There was dialog about everything. And poor Irrfan Khan, he actually said things like, 'Choozon! agar mujhe arrest kar loge toh dedh karod ka intezam kaun karega?'

Hats off to the director for ensuring that he got full paisa vasool from Irrfan Khan. Saare dialog Irrfan Khan se.

The poor actor's relief is visible, palpable in the last dialog he spouts: 'Arre pagle! Agar zid hoti toh baahon mein hoti. Yeh love hai, isiliye jaane diya!'

Then instead of looking into the horizon, he grins, because the movie is over.

Like I said, I had fun! I could imagine the director saying, 'Chillao! Aur chillao!' and the heroine agreeing.

SANAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

That scream woke up the dormant Dilophosurus in me and i spat out my coffee on to the unsuspecting person sitting next to me, a la Jurassic Park

Had the Mumbai decibel lady holding on to her hand held device checking for noise pollution been in the theater she would have been dancing in the aisle. 

When I heard her scream for her daughter, I was sure somewhere in the world of Titans, Liam Neeson had just bellowed, 'Release the Kracken!'

The suddenly hysterical, suddenly sadistic villains are there to distract you from the actual culprit. The row of tapori kids sitting behind me (someone had given the tickets away!) guessed who the bad-guy is way before the bad guy begins to give clever sideways glances. Their comments are unprintable, but they observed fun things like, 'shabana maushi ke paas sari bahut hai, lekin earring ekich hai.' 

With Jackie Shroff in the same frame during the maushi comment, I was hi-5ing the taporis in my head.

It's true that we are sending the superb marathi movie Court as India's entry to the Oscars, but obviously the director has not seen it. They're still operating from Damini days. 

Maybe I would have liked it better had it been made in the style of Nagin Ka Badla Sapere Ki Vaat... It would have been apt because I imagined the hiss and the raising of an imaginary hood each time the heroine glared with her bloodshot eyes and said, 'Yeh Casesssssss Ek Maaaaaa Lad Rahi Haiisssssssss!'


P.S: You've seen the green tinted trailer. The movie is green tinted too. If there was some subliminal 'save our environment' message in that, I've missed it.