Review: BOY NEXT DOOR

Not even worth a peek!


No Star


Mini Review:

Jennifer Lopez and Ryan Guzman try really hard to sex up this movie about a hot teacher and a sexy student, but end up looking funny. It's a relief when the syringe in the eye horror is over.  


Main Review:

'I teach the classics!' Jennifer Lopez insists. The student is stuck on her Homeric boobs. She tries hard to look serious (you guessed right, she wears glasses!) and is shown battling many problems: cheating husband, socially dysfunctional child... 

Get on with it! You say. You've seen Sonakshi Sinha fall in love with Arjun Kapoor in an instant in Tevar because he's determined to send her to the US, so you don't blame the boy here for believing he has fallen in love with the teacher after one drunken night of lovemaking. 

When and how and why he videotapes the whole thing no one knows and no one cares. Alas, what is 'artistically' done when the neighbors get on with it, suddenly becomes reality as he imagines it all again. And I almost died stuffing my handkerchief into my mouth when they show his two hands squeeze her breasts (artistically still within the lacy brassiere) and cut the shot with him shutting an open book. 

So when the lad becomes demanding and the teacher is not drunk it becomes a stalker story. He beats up the husband and ties up the kid in a barn (after having failed to kill them both by tampering with the brakes of the husband's car), and threatens the teacher that he'll kill them if she does not agree to run away with her.

Seriously? You have a gun, you have the husband and the kid tortured and tied up in a barn, why won't you just use it? By this time the audience wants to use the gun on all of them to end the nonsense. But there's more. Jennifer Lopez sticks a syringe into the bad guy's eye so you are stunned into not leaving the theater. 

The gun is still there. There's more, 'Why are you doing this to my family?', and more screaming and blood and fire too. Finally as in a cartoon, the anvil comes down on the bad guy, killing him. No of course not. The owner of the barn has some big box instead of the anvil...

In the end the cops show up and in the ambulance, Jennifer Lopez assures us, 'It's over. We're going to be okay. We'll go home soon.'

I thank the gods and come back home and watch Sushmita Sen play chemistry teacher to Shah Rukh Khan here again.  

And why did I tell you the story? Do you need ask? You will find better porn on the net. This movie fails on so many levels, I wouldn't grade it at all...